


Crying, and dying, by the sword

by gozita2003, pderdy



Series: Interference [4]
Category: Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon
Genre: Angst, Evil Senshi, F/F, Surgery, Violence, a lot???, and edit i, and edit it?, anyway yeah enjoy the reinako angst fest, brought to u by goz, directed by yours truly also, edited by yours truly, how is she even still alive?????, in which minako fuckin... flips her shit, in which rei dies???, inspired by yours truly, leader venus problems, like how does goz just write out a chapter in an hour and then i just edit it?, minako is a girl made out of problems held together by duct tape and l o v e, now with, part one of two, rei hasn't even reached maximum dead yet??, thats part two of two???, the reinako centric middle of my series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-10
Updated: 2018-01-19
Packaged: 2019-02-13 00:43:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 23,856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12971988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gozita2003/pseuds/gozita2003, https://archiveofourown.org/users/pderdy/pseuds/pderdy
Summary: [aka "Retrograde: Venus" on ff.net (s/12754295)]Minako finds out that the darker part of one's self can manifest. After a battle with Kyoufu, how will she handle her own darkness? [A cowrite with gozita2003 from ff.net (u/7870440)] Completed: 20 Jan 2018





	1. Chapter 1

Minako didn’t want to have this meeting.

 

It was so stupid and pointless. How could you sit there and point out the flaws that each person had to their face? And even have a group of people doing it? But it had to be done, after what Minako saw.

Even though she had rewatched that convenience store footage multiple times and nothing had been there most of the time, she knew subconsciously; she was seeing what was to come. The good news? She only mostly ever saw her own evil self. The bad news? She only mostly ever saw herself. It meant that, if anything happened, she was going to be the very first.

Taking in a deep breath, she looked about the room.

 

They had chosen the outers’ house, again. It had been cleaned, the carpets replaced, the table gone, and a cup of hot tea sat in front of her. Coffee was a thing everyone had agreed to stop drinking. That didn’t stop Minako’s urge for a strong cup mixed with some alcohol today, especially today of all days.

She was rather amazed that they didn’t want to move houses after the tragedy that had occurred here. It made her uncomfortable; she refused to sit on the same couch she was dying on before, instead opting for a spot on the floor next to Rei. For comfort.

 

... Rei.

 

She was still healing and had to stay laid down on that damned couch. It was amazing that she had lived, after she had asked Ami how bad it was.

 _A thread_. She held on to life by a single thread. After she had been told of everything she hadn’t seen firsthand, Minako had looked deeper into it all, and thought she was going to vomit when what Rei had suffered through started to sink in.

By now, everyone but Rei had healed up, except maybe Makoto’s mental state regarding Ami. Minako’s eyes flickered that way. It’s reasonable to be freaked out, all things considered, but Makoto hadn’t even seen or heard any of the shit the others had.

That part made no sense... Oh, must have been the part where she crushed fake Ami’s skull in until she died. Yeah, that might freak a person out. They were working on talking it out some, a little, from what she understood.

Ultimately, everyone else had suffered at the hands of the fake Mizuno Ami, except for Usagi and Mamoru who took an _hour and a fucking half_ to get food. Maybe that was a good thing, maybe it wasn’t. It left marks on them all. Minako refused to ever put a single ice cube into a drink again, regardless of whether it was supposed to belong there or not.

She had also avoided wearing the chain that her sweet Rei had bought her, because it reminded her too much of the pain Rei had gone through.

She couldn’t say much for the others, however...

Really, they can’t afford a repeat of all that. That’s why, now it’s time to look at everyone and think things through. Most of these were her own team, outers aside. She’s the one leading them into battle, and, ultimately, her idea to go out to a stupid bar - which, mind you, they were banned from now - got them in this mess in the first place.

Still, none of it wouldn’t have happened in the _very_ first place if none of them had sat on their issues as long as they did... Minako looked at each of them, assessing them one by one in her head.

 

Usagi was the first one she scrutinized, but there really wasn’t anything in that dumpling head. From what she was told, Usagi’s double had appeared once, at the chasing scene with Ami... and that was about all they saw of her. _Useless_ was a pretty good way to describe that one. Usagi herself was in no immediate danger of… what was that word she heard them say? Retrograding? It sounded fancy.

That said, it didn’t mean she wasn’t in danger of the others, and Minako was pretty sure a safe distance was going to be required.

 

Next she addressed Ami, who had been fairly quiet on the matter. Thus far, she had simply been analyzing all she had been told and learned, mixed in with what she knew. No one actually knew yet just how she got away from the other evil scouts. ...God, why hadn’t she learned their stupid names? ‘Evil Ami’ just sounded stupid and lame…

Well, whatever. The girl had showed up just in time to be some sort of a saving grace to the rest of the team. As for her issues… that medicine she’s taking was still impacting her here and there. Once in awhile she’d be just fine and the next, passed out on Makoto. It’s balancing out lately. Oh, and, the fact that her evil self had been so... twisted?

Just how fucked up was Ami, really? Minako has had an underlying thought of that before. Ami was quiet, and she had always heard that the quiet ones were the most deadly. After what they had gone through, Minako would have to agree. What would it take for the girl to snap and really show that side of her to the rest of the team?

Even if she didn’t really show it outright? She’s their tactician; if she wanted them all killed, she could do it, and no one would question what she’ll suggest as an idea. They’ll follow her to their deaths. Well, hopefully whatever the hell she was on would stop that from happening.

It didn’t help that Minako’s seen Ami create ice daggers out of thin air. Not even Mercury; just Ami. It was a bit… chilling, to think about. Minako didn’t even think of it jokingly at all. It was the appropriate verb.

 

Okay, _next_. She looked at Makoto, up on the sofa next to her. Makoto is tall and strong, which meant that her evil self met her at that same front. What would be the difference between the two of them?

Oh. Right, Makoto had always sacrificed herself for the others. Her kindness was now her ultimate weakness. That sounded like something you’d hear from a drama on TV, but it was the truth. Was the evil version actually stronger? Or was it more that she wasn’t afraid to smash your face in on the first punch?

From what she’d heard, evil Mako didn’t really seem like a bash your face in now, ask questions later thing. More like a ‘I’m going to completely destroy you’ kind of thing… There it is again, ‘ _from what she’s been told_ ’... Minako hated that she hadn’t seen the others’ evil versions. She knows the least about them, and she was supposed to be the fucking leader.

 

She stopped that shit to think about Rei next. Now that’s a lot to think over... What would Rei’s issues be aside from the obvious? …

… Her shitty dad. Abandonment, then? And how it’s a legendary feat to earn her trust? For fuck’s sake, Minako had used her as practical target practice when fighting youma as a distraction... She feels like she’s out of her depth with that. Rei’s always been bristly about it, and she respects that.

That just leaves her with Rei’s anger issues. Rei would admit to it quickly. And her rashness... this one Minako had seen firsthand, when she tackled her evil double that loomed over her as she was sprawled on the ground by a trash can, with two broken ribs, and unable to move. It wasn’t until much later that Rei told her she had rushed in like that because her evil version was about to slit her throat. It made it a little less stupid, at least...

… Which brought Minako to evil Rei. She had noticed immediately; those eyes… they weren’t Rei’s. They were dark, and she had this smirk on her face, a very cocky one. Then, she had seen it again as she briefly regained consciousness near the end of the battle; the retrograde spirit had manifested again.

The next thing, Rei had wiped out two evil scouts in one go before collapsing to the ground. Minako still wasn’t sure how Rei had managed to pull all of that fire out of her dying ass, but... It left her in awe. That cold fury in what she could see of evil Rei’s phantasm in the flames though…

That version of Rei didn’t care who the hell you were or what your deal was. It was almost like looking at the face of an assassin; grinning, revelling in the satisfaction of revenge well served as they slit your throat. Minako had to stop herself from continuing that thought.

 

She really _really_ wanted to analyze the outer scouts too, but she’s got nothing to run on. All they had said was that their issues were resolved with no problems, and there would be no recurring retrograde spirits on their behalf. _Real_ comforting. It pissed Minako off to no end.

They always seemed so _perfect_. When Minako made a mistake, Haruka wouldn’t hesitate to tell her that her problem was that ‘she thought.’ Michiru always gave her a thousand year stare of disappointment. Setsuna never said anything and her face gave no indication one way or another, but it was clear she was with the others.

Not to mention, they harbored the child of death and destruction in their own house. How is it that, the _one_ place that seemed like the most fucked up of all places, manage to come out okay every single time? It wasn’t fair. It made Minako bitter about it all.

 

“Alright, settle down everyone.” Haruka was the one to start it up.

“We all hate it, but it’s clear why we’re here. Minako said she’s been seeing retrogrades of everyone. Well, almost everyone, I guess.”

Minako started to mumble to herself. “Yeah…”

It had been a lie. She had seen just her own, and that one time where she saw Ami’s, but that one might’ve just been a nightmare. After what she had to endure, it’s a surprise she’s only dreamt about it once…

She needed a cover up, to make sure that if - when - the others’ retrograde spirits returned, everyone was on the same page. Better to assume all of them has that risk, than to think it was just her losing it over what had happened. After all, her evil self tried to stab her through the throat with a shard of glass. God, her evil self had no class. Not to mention that ugly gold tooth. Who even does that?

 

“So, from what Michiru and Setsuna were able to figure out - and from what we all experienced - this occurs from what we hide, or something. What you keep hidden inside you or something… like… your dark side?”

“Haruka...” Michiru sighed a little and picked the ball that was dropped. “These evil versions of ourselves are manifestations of the darkest part of our hearts. Ami being the most prime example we have... She’s the kindest person I know, because she had actively chosen to be. - So, with her evil counterpart, what we had seen was her without the guilt of hurting others.”

Minako watched Ami shrink back into the couch some. Did that seriously mean she had considered hurting them before? Note to self: double check whatever Ami tells you to do before she gets you killed.

“So…” Makoto spoke up this time. “How do we uh… have that not happen again? Like do we just unleash it all ourselves, or… ?”

 

“No... It’s more about coming to terms with what the problem is. Meaning that, today, everyone will be either admitting their own faults, or have those pointed out for them. We did it ourselves and it was rough, but it helped out.”

 

“... Haruka, why the hell would you do that without the rest of us?” Minako felt pissed off about it. What right did they have? Weren’t they all supposed to be one big team?

“It was a test. No need to drag everyone out here while we were ripping up carpet, just for it to amount to nothing.”

“And how do you know it worked? How do we know you won’t retrograde in like, five years?”

“Well… we don’t.”

What the hell? Was that supposed to be a comforting thought?

“You said two seconds ago you had worked it all out, but now you’re saying you don’t know if it fucking worked? It’s one or the other--” She bit back the blond joke for now.

Setsuna decided it was time to step in. “Because I know.”

 

Right, of course. This household has the all seeing time guardian around for them at all times. Just fucking great. _Why even bother being a scout with this perfect team around, then_. They were stronger, worked together better, knew far more, had actual _weapons._ Maybe, Rei’s thought about quitting a while back wasn’t such a bad idea. Minako swallowed her vitriol. Setsuna continued.

“So, who do you want to start with?”

“Well… we were going to say Usagi, but…”

Usagi gave a small smile and a shrug. “Useless. I know. Sorry.”

“It’s better, you know? I really think yours manifested more from the rest of us, honestly. Doesn’t make sense for one to exist for you.”

It irked Minako. One more thing about Usagi to grind her nerves with. She loves her as a friend, she really does, but as a scout? It was totally unfair. Usagi could heal everyone and anyone and destroy youma with like, three words. And now, she got out of the retrograde spirits issue scot-free.

“Next.” The word came out a little harsher than she wanted and Rei’s hand was on her shoulder suddenly and she flinched, looking back her it.

“It’s okay, Mina. Relax.” Bless you Rei for being here. Minako took a deep breath in and let it go, relaxing just the tiniest bit.

“I figured we’d go with Ami next, since we know just how dangerous that can be.” Haruka addressed Ami, then paused for a moment and frowned. “You’re not gonna have a down moment, are you?”

“No… they’ve become few and far between. I took a nap before coming here to prevent one from coming on.” Ami still looked small on the couch, tucked into herself. Michiru had shown her what had happened in the mirror. She _better_ know just how dangerous she can be.

“I think...” Ami licked her lips. “... I’m fairly sure I can point my own issues out.”

Of course, girl genius knew it all. Minako huffed a little bit and crossed her arms, waiting. She had a whole lot of shit lined up for that ice cold bitch. She’s taking her time to put her words together just right…

 

“You see, I’m never actually involved in the fights, for one. I’m the tactician, and I’ll admit, a part of me wants to exist for more than a Shabon Spray. It’s… frustrating. Outside of that, I tend to keep a distance from most people. I’m… aloof. I mean... At school - before meeting Usagi, I had been cold and callous and sometimes, I’m still that way. Less so, now, but it’s there. Even when I work at the hospital I kept to myself and I was… into dark humor.”

 

“Dark humor?” Rei looked over to Ami at that one.

Makoto shifted a bit uncomfortably. “Yeah… I saw her do it once. After evil Ami… I wouldn’t say it’s a coping mechanism, per se. You know those rumors about doctors making jokes about patients, alive or gone?”

The room went dead silent at that and Minako swore that if Ami tried to shrink any further into that couch, she was going to become one with it. Dark humor. Minako could understand that one herself. Makoto continued.

“Anyways, we got into a fight over it. Ami got violent and tried to hit a wall, but I stopped her. Girl has way more strength than she lets on. … Letting her fight wouldn’t be a bad idea, honestly.”

Minako let out a heavy sigh, thinking that one over. That was her call, not anyone else’s. “... Fine. But only if it’s a fairly weak one. And I don’t mean quick to take out, anything big and tough is risky, and we need a plan for that. But if shit hits the fan…”

Ami gave a nod in response and Minako nodded back. It irked her to have a change in the plan and system that had been working for many damn years. “Let’s do Makoto next, then.”

Makoto frowned at that, apparently she wasn’t looking forward to this either. “I’ve got nothing--”

“I do.” This time it was Rei speaking up and Minako turned to look at her again. “You give, and don’t take. Every time. Like, you make food for all of us all the time, and it comes out of your pocket money, and we don’t pay it back until later. You say it’s fine, then you struggle for like a week or so, rinse and repeat.”

“But it _is_ fine...”

“It seems fine, but you can’t say you haven’t been frustrated by that. I mean, we all eat a _lot_ since our senshi powers require it to function. A whole lot. No food, no power, useless.”

“I…” Makoto frowned and seemed to think on it for a bit. “Yeah, I guess. A time or two.”

“So that might manifest.” Haruka sighed as she leaned back. “Ami was closest in contact with your doppelganger.”

“... Gakuzen.”

“... Bless you?” Makoto turned to Ami with raised eyebrows.

“No. Your doppleganger was named Gakuzen. Minako’s was Kinbaku. I caught their names, but that was about it.”

 

Well, that made life a tiny bit easier.

 

“Anyways. Not much h… happened.” Ami stumbled over her words, shuddering a bit. “Rough…brutish, more than Makoto. Very strong. Disgruntled. All about getting it done and over with. …Pretty sure she intended to strangle me in the bathroom when I tried to escape... with the gold chain I saw Kinbaku with beforehand.” Brutish. Probably a good descriptive term if Makoto’s strength was anything to show about. Next…

Minako glanced at Rei and frowned. It was her turn. Rei tried to give her a smile to relax as she carefully sat up. Minako did not relax. “Rei. Lay back down before you hurt yourself anymore than you have.”

“I’m fine, Mina. Just for a few minutes. It’s hard to hear me laying down…” Rei still looked very tired, and she tried to be careful with her injured side. She had been stabbed there and kept it to herself. Minako had even asked if everyone was okay and Rei had said yes. She had lied for Minako’s own good because she was paralyzed and couldn’t do anything about it. It wasn’t fair. Not to mention, her body was still fighting off infections that’d flare up once every few days until medication was given...

Rei took in a careful deep breath. “We all know I’ve got a lot of issues, there’s no hiding that… I mean. Mom dying when I was young, dad leaving me? I still…Let’s just say that it’s pretty unhealthy. And I…” Rei looked to the side, picking at the cushion of the couch. “Have a very nasty temper at times. I bottle things up until I explode and right now, that’s pretty dangerous. ... For everyone.” Then suddenly Rei was looking at Minako, and that startled her like crazy.

“And I feel…like I’m target practice. A lot of the times. Go into a youma fight, and I draw the fire in. 90% of the time.” Minako blinked. Rei…Rei has an issue with her tactical battle methods. That was one which Minako hadn’t expected, and she felt her breath leave her. Her own girlfriend…against her?

 

“I know it’s a method that works a lot, but it’s tiring. And dangerous. You’ve seen it happen where we get something unpredictable, and then I’m always hurt. Grandpa is really starting to get worried about me coming home with bruises and cuts and a limp.”

 

“I… you…” Minako was at a loss for words for a few moments before she suddenly stood up, pulling away. “My methods, my way of battle, have worked almost _every_ time. Do you know the percent of times it’s failed? Three percent. _Three_.”

“Three too many.” Haruka spoke up and that was it. Minako was fucking done.

“You have no _fucking_ room to talk! By the time you all _finally_ decide to show up, the battle is done and so is the damage! What right do you have to judge in something you took _shit-all_ part in!?”

“Mina--!” Rei was moving to stand up, but Minako shoved her back down and that stunned everyone in the room.

 

“No! They think they’re just so perfect and I’m a piece of _shit_. They get magic weapons. They get destruction itself. They get the time guardian. What have we got-- what have _I_ got? A sword? That, and nothing but the years I spent trying to get all this figured out so it was a quick job with minimal damage, because guess which one of us has to file all that paperwork at their job? Me. You know how much I’ve had to tamper with _all_ the damned evidence at work to cover things up?”

 

Ami spoke up now, trying to calm Minako down. “You could have asked; the Mercury computer--”

“I _don’t_ trust you right now.”

“... Excuse me?”

“You heard me right. You’ve honestly had the thought of hurting us, and I have no clue if you’ve done it intentionally in the past, or will in the future. It’ll be so easy for you to do during battles. You’re fucked up, Ami. More than anyone else in this fucking room.”

Immediately Ami was on her feet and in Minako’s face. Her medicine apparently gave her some form of chemical courage. “I would never. I’ve analyzed each situation and even gone to _you_ with what I have to decide the best course of action. You don’t even fight most of the time; you stay in the back rank and excuse yourself with protecting Usagi!”

Minako bristled hard at that; she picked her tea cup up and flung it straight at Ami, who dodged it. So much for a fresh new carpet. “Because none of you have the restraint required to protect her! You’re _all_ still royal fuck ups after all this time!”

“ _Enough_.” Rei was standing, despite grimacing from pain, and had grabbed Minako’s arm hard, glaring at her. “What the hell has gotten into you!? You’re acting like everyone in the room is the damned enemy right now!”

“Because they are! You’re the only one I can--” Minako cut herself off and looked away. She yanked her hand hard out of Rei’s grip; who had sank back onto the couch from lack of energy. Minako risked one look back at Rei and immediately turned around.

 

“... Forget it. Whatever. I’m done here. This was stupid.”

 

And with that, Minako stormed out of the house and down the street. She could trust no one... not even herself.

 


	2. Chapter 2

Minako, with her arms full, impatiently unlocked and kicked the door open to the hotel room she had rented.

She can’t afford to be found at her apartment or the shrine right now. She wanted no human contact. The door slammed hard behind her, and the room - if she was being honest - was a shithole... but it’ll work. The others would have expected somewhere more high class for her. Lots of space on the walls, a desk to write at, and a bed for when she did need to sleep. This would do.

The meeting at the outers’ had gone awfully. The moment she left, she went back to her apartment, collected every single file she has of the others that had accumulated over the years, and disappeared.

She set the bin down on the desk and opened it, staring at the files inside of it.

 

Undercover cop time. She had even called out of work and used up all of her sick leave. An entire month, in fact; she had never missed a day of work in her life since becoming an officer. The superintendent had thought it was odd, but Minako said she had a family emergency to attend to, and it worked, no questions asked.

Slowly, a collection of images and papers lined the walls, some with strings drawn between them. She had gotten her hands on any security footage that showed their evil selves before carefully removing all traces of them from TMPD’s system. She then had prints of them lined up next to the portraits of their regular selves.

Even with that, she could only really tell Rei apart - it was her eyes. Rei’s eyes were so deep she could get lost staring in them. Not just because she was so far in love with her, but because she has seen things others wouldn’t even dare dream about. Sometimes, she wondered if she’s even seen things that Setsuna hadn’t… But. What Rei did know, she couldn’t share.

That aside, she has one month to get all this shit figured out: who she could trust. Right now? No one. Not even Rei. Not even… herself. She risked a glance into the mirror, and flinched.

In a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it moment, she had seen Kinbaku. That cocky smirk, as if saying she’s coming back to get her... Minako shuddered; she had become very acutely aware that Kinbaku was preparing a comeback. It could happen at any point now, given the increasing frequency that she’s seeing her; through cameras, or in mirrors.

Kinbaku... what an appropriately ironic name. Minako wondered if she gave herself that name, or if they all had some ultimate leader who gave them those names. Hmm, that’s unlikely. Their names fit all of them far too well. _They_ fit too well; they’re perfect copies of… us.

It was frustrating to her that her double was so… accurate. So like her, and yet not. Kinbaku, as she is, saw absolutely no qualms in killing people to get whatever it is she wants. Minako would never. She would never wish death upon anyone, let alone…

…

Whatever, that thought could come later.

 

 

 

One month.

Minako focused on the files she has, and it seemed like in an instant, a month had passed; a whole month of meticulously looking into every little thing that she knows about the others.

She ran her hands over her face from the desk she sat at. She’d figured a few things out; names. Kinbaku was hers, Gakuzen was Makoto’s. Ami had confirmed those. Kyoufu was Ami’s and Haikou was Rei’s - she remembered Kyoufu saying Haikou’s name after ripping out the laced _kunai_ from Rei’s side.

She wasn’t sure where she had heard Kyoufu’s name though, but it was there. Maybe it was Kinbaku giving her that information...

 

“Ugh.”

 

She leaned back and looked at her wall of analysis carefully. No signs of Gakuzen or Haikou anytime soon, and she’s sure the only reason she’d seen Kyoufu that one time back then was trauma. However…

In the past two weeks, Kinbaku had appeared to her more often; in her dreams, in the corner of her sight. Minako jumped at almost anything nowadays, ready to go anytime, ready to fight. Well, physically, anyway. She was exhausted mentally. She looked at the bed, and then the clock; 2 AM. She’s been up for… 27 hours this time. No new leads.

Groaning, she hauled herself out of the chair and let herself fall onto her back on the creaking bed. It was a really uncomfortable piece of shit, that was for sure; but it was a bed, which meant she could basically live in here. She almost never went out, barring the need for food supply. She shifted on the bed, dodging a stray spring that poked her back, and yawned.

“Four hours of sleep should keep me going for another sixteen--”

 

She turned to look at the direction of her communicator as it went off... again.

God, she wanted to smash that thing. She has no idea if it was an actual threat of youma his time, or if it’s just the team trying to find her. She has no intention of finding out; she had hidden herself pretty damn well. Tuning it out, the next thing she saw was the darkness behind her eyelids.

 

 

 

In what felt like no time after that, there was a loud sound in her room, a hiss, and then a lot of clattering.

What the fuck? She struggled to force her eyes open and was met with a sight that made her blood go cold and her face pale.

Kinbaku was physically in her hotel room with a dagger in her hand…and so was Rei.

 

 _How_ … what’s going on?

 

Kinbaku smirked and twirled the dagger in her hand, pointing it at Rei. “I had a feeling you’d know about this and show up. What a real shame; a few seconds later, and it would have been real damn easy to just stab her in the throat as she slept.”

Minako was almost murdered. In her sleep. Alone.

Her team would have no idea. The police would have found out first when the hotel room goes unpaid for and a dead body found in it. There would be no trace of evidence whatsoever, and a lot of shit in the room that’ll make Minako seem crazy... not to mention, evidence of the girls as scouts...

“Yeah? A real shame I saw it in a fire vision two hours ago. You’re as predictable as I had expected you to be - too prideful.” Rei transformed into Sailor Mars, ready to fight, fists raised against Kinbaku’s dagger.

 

Minako still hadn’t moved from her spot on the bed. Rei… Rei shouldn’t be fighting! Even after a month of healing, Minako was extremely aware of how quickly Rei would wear down. Ami had said; after that hell of a close call, she’d need three full months’ worth of recovery time.

Getting up, Minako moved to transform, but she was interrupted by a second dagger thrown at her. She screamed as it tore into her shoulder, blade jutting out the other side. She went down; her back hit the bedside drawers and she gripped the handle of the dagger hard to try to pry it loose. She keened in pain.

It seemed to set Mars off.

Mars moved in quickly, trying to land some quick blows, but Kinbaku was quicker still. There was a dangerous swing of the dagger that left a cut on her cheek, and it became evident that, even as Mars, the odds were stacked against her. Mars, as she is, was no match for Kinbaku. If she were just Rei, she’d be destroyed.

Barely dodging another swipe of the dagger, Mars stepped back. Kinbaku saw this as an opportunity to gloat.

 

“Y’know, you really went and pissed me off. Using Haikou and her power to blast me off like that - shit hurts like hell! Heh, get it?” Kinbaku sneered, “--So, to make it fair, I spent a solid two months fucking your girl up. Heh, I mean, look at all _this_! She doubts _all_ of you!”

 

Mars fumed silently as Kinbaku widely gestured at the madness adorning the walls, who then grinned in mock disgust and cocked her head towards Minako, as if spitting at her. “Some fucking _leader_ you are.”

Minako balked and made eye contact with Mars before turning it back to Kinbaku. She breathed through the pain, “I’m trying to make sure none of you fucks pretend to be on my team again!”

“Oh? That’s what you call it? Storming out on that conversation at the… what the fuck do you guys call ’em? The outers? Huh, how lame. You’d think one of you would have more tact or creativity. I get that it’s the outer planets, but so is Jupiter? You suck at this word game, ya know?”

Minako let out a frustrated noise and reached up to rip the dagger out of her, screaming at the intense pain, but she wasn’t quick enough; the moment she moved, Kinbaku stopped spouting her bullshit, turned back to face Mars, and ran the other dagger into her side.

Right where the kunai had been. Mars - now Rei - let out a painful gasp, falling to the floor quickly.

“Can’t even do anything to save your girl... real fucking pathetic. But, since I’m you and all, it kind of means that you did it yourself, don’t it…? Doesn’t that make you a murderer, then…?” That creepy grin was back, and as with the cheerful sing-song tone, Minako has had enough.

 

_I am. Not. A murderer!_

 

She screamed in frustration and threw the dagger, which Kinbaku easily caught. Window of opportunity made, Minako pulled her pistol out of her hip holster and shot Kinbaku straight in the forehead.

Wordlessly, she watched her drop to the floor, crumbling into dust and disappearing completely. Heavy silence filled the room until Rei groaned. Minako moved into action, distressed words spilling out of her mouth as she made her way to Rei.

“What the _fuck_ were you thinking!?”

Rei had been bleeding on the ground, holding her side with a gasping breath. Minako bent down to offer an arm to her. “You’re not supposed to fight for another six weeks you _idiot_!”

“Yes… because… letting Kinbaku murder you in your sleep was a better idea.”

“ _You’re hurt_. You almost died! Quit trying to protect me! I don’t need protection!”

Rei slowly pulled herself upright and reached up to grab Minako by the collar, yanking her down to eye level. Minako’s first thought was that she had to check; she took a good look at Rei’s eyes.

She’s real. She’s the real Rei.

Feeling just a little relieved, Minako dropped her guard and sat down next to Rei. Real Rei, despite the clenched jaw and tightened grip on her collar, wouldn’t hurt her. _Or would she..._

“Look, here... Aino Minako. You disappear for a whole damn month on us, and didn’t even answer the communicator. You weren’t at any fights, nor were you at the police station. Instead, I find you in some real shitty hotel, questioning your fucking team.” Rei let go of her collar. “You... have problems that you need to figure out.”

So she did; with words. Minako took serious offense to that. “Am I a problem to you?”

“Right now? Yes; you’re a problem to the team. As co-leader, I’m removing you from leadership until you can sort yourself out. You are no longer in command. The team backed me up via consensus - not that it matters, since you won’t show up at fights.”

Minako huffed bitterly; ironic that her team would leave her like that. And yet, it’s just what she had expected to happen eventually. She was too different from them... she’s too deep into this duty thing. She’d done the unforgivable for her duty. “Great, fucking perfect. Who wants a murderer as their leader anyw--”

“ _Stop_.” Rei raised her voice at her, and slapped her hard in the face.

 

Minako hadn’t anticipated it, so she stumbled back into the night stand with a hard grunt; the impact had jostled her shoulder. She remained sitting there quietly, agog, and watched Rei look away from her to pull up her own communicator.

“Ami, medic, now. I'll send you the address. Stab wound to a shoulder, and I-- I was stabbed in the side. …The same spot as before.”

Ami opened her mouth, but she found nothing to say. From what Minako could hear, Ami sounded extremely done. _“... Alright, hang tight.”_

“Thanks.”

 

With that, Rei hung up and sank back onto the floor, putting her arm over her eyes and shuddering. She was having a fever fit. Minako had seen one before; they had figured it was to do with being the senshi of fire. Her temperature would insanely spike at times, turning what would normally just be slight warmness into a full out high fever.

Minako swallowed, and tried to focus on her concern for Rei.

“... Why did you even bother?”

“Because I care.”

“No one else does.”

“Yes they do. You think I was trying to find you alone? We spent every day looking for you. The only reason I was able to find you was that vision I had.” Rei let out a rough breath and a wet cough that stained her lips red and Minako had to look away. “... We need to talk, Minako. _Please_. Just us.”

“After your fit.”

“... Fine.” Rei couldn’t argue with that, it was getting hard to focus. She wiped her mouth and noted how quickly it had started to dry; it wouldn’t pass until Ami showed up. “Clean your walls. She doesn’t need to see this. There’s enough rumors among the girls I’d rather not add to.”

Hesitating, Minako got up, pulled all the stuff down, and shoved it under the bed before sitting down in front of it, staring at the ground. _Rumors_. She didn’t trust them, and now she was sure that they didn’t trust her. It was a perfect situation, similar to London. Maybe another grenade would allow her to disappear again, or, even better, actually die this time--

 

Suddenly, Ami walked into the room and she eyed the both of them.

 

Minako said nothing, gesturing to Rei on the floor. It was as she expected; a syringe injection and a careful removal of the dagger - Rei didn’t even have it in her to make much noise when Ami pulled it out of her - followed by stitches. Then, she got to Minako’s, and ended up just wrapping hers up.

“I kept the others away and deleted the address. Rei,” Ami looked hard at Minako, who felt uncomfortable. She couldn’t tell if it’s really her or not. Ami’s cold glare didn’t help one bit. “The police will likely show up from the ruckus. Get her out of here.”

Minako maintained the tenuous eye contact. “... You’re looking right at me. At least talk to me.”

“No.”

“... What?” Minako was stunned at how bold Ami was being. Or was it Kyoufu?

“You’re not the leader right now. You’re unstable beyond belief. You went off the radar, even from the Mercury computer, for a month; meaning that you haven’t wanted to be a scout in that time. No energy detections could pick you up - it also means your shoulder won’t heal for two months. _Good job_.” Sarcasm delivered in deadpan. Minako grit her teeth, trying not to start something, but Ami continued, and push turned to shove. “Maybe you need to consider taking meds, too.”

“ _Oh_ , _fuck_ you.” Minako has had enough… again. “I’m not fucked up enough to need medicine, unlike _some people_.”

That seemed to do it; Ami leaned into her face, putting a firm grasp on her injured shoulder as if threatening to squeeze it. Her tone was frigid in how calm it is. “I’m not as fucked up as you seem to think I am. Why? Because, the fact that I’m on meds means that I’m working on it.”

 _Unlike you_. Minako grit her teeth at that insinuation. Ami continued before she could retort.

 

“I help my patients out, now that I’m back to work. Right now, out of the team, you’re the actual threat. Unstable. Unreliable. I can’t even think of coming to you for tactical thoughts. I’m taking more gambles than I’d like. I’m even involved in the fights now.”

 

Words like ice daggers. Minako, feeling vulnerable, felt like Ami’s grip on her shoulder had started tightening.

“Let me _go_ you bitch!” Minako shoved Ami hard enough to send her into the chair across from the bed. Ami got right back up, as if unfazed.

“... Bitch?” Minako was sure she had never heard Ami curse until today. “You’re the real bitch here. You can’t even trust your own team. And, I think you don’t even trust yourself at this point. Because of that, you got a scout injured aside from yourself.”

Minako couldn’t argue against that, but it sliced through her heart. Ami continued, as if that wasn’t enough.

“You should get yourself sorted out before you start accusing someone else of something you don’t really get yourself. We have our issues figured out. You? No. You’re the one who’s really fucked up. Not me.” With that, Ami turned around and left the room, the door slamming shut behind her.

 

The next second, Minako let out a scream and chucked the table clock at the door, shattering it into tiny pieces.

 

“Mina. Stop, _please_.” Rei pulled herself up and sat down next to her on the bed. It took some effort, that was clear; Minako silently helped her lay down.

“Mina…what’s gotten into you lately?”

“Nothing.”

“...Nothing? Minako, you disappeared. You took time off of work, which I’ve never seen you do; much less for a month? Then you just disappear off the face of the earth and don’t show up to fight youma? I hate to tell you this, but you pretty much abandoned your duty.”

 

Minako’s eyes widened.

“I did not--“

 

“You did.” Rei’s voice was too harsh and Minako reeled at that. “Not only did you abandon your duty, you’re questioning your entire team. The very people you’ve worked with for like fifteen years now. Not only did you leave us to fight the youma by ourselves, you’ve even let crime run rampant on the streets and that’s something we can’t help with. Something is wrong.”

Minako was quiet for a while, looking down at her hands. The throbbing in her shoulder was painful, but welcome. She knew if she had senshi powers, it wouldn’t be so painful and it would be dull. Now? It was sharp. Ami couldn’t give her the usual injection; it was designed to work on scouts and would overdose normal humans.

“I… I don’t know who to trust, outside of you. How do I know they haven’t snuck into our ranks? What if we have another Kyoufu situation--“

“Kyoufu?”

“Mm… I figured their names out. Ami’s is Kyoufu, Makoto’s is Gakuzen, yours is Haikou, and mine’s Kinbaku. Fitting, I know. Anyways, they’re really good at fooling us. We both sat with two of them on a table, fucked around with a tabletop game, and had no idea.” Minako frowned, recalling it. “The looks, the laughs, all of it fit perfectly.”

“So how do you know I’m me?”

“The fever fit you had, for one.” That pained Minako to think about. She had no idea how bad Rei really had it yet. She didn’t dare ask. “... And your eyes.”

Rei stared at her. “My… eyes?”

 

“Yeah. Remember when you showed up and I was totally laid out on the ground and Haikou was leaned over me? Her eyes were so dark and… soulless. Like an assassin’s. It was… it just wasn’t you. Your eyes are... deep. …I could get lost in your eyes easily.”

 

“I, uhm…” Rei was red in the face. A touch romantic apparently. “... And the others?”

“At the bar, I saw Ami and Makoto… rather, Kyoufu and Gakuzen... same eyes. Ami’s are pretty distant all the time and Makoto doesn’t do a ton of eye contact as is. Those two can be faked way better than yours can... so I can’t trust them.”

“Minako, we’re a team. You _have_ to trust them.”

 

Minako said nothing to that. Letting it go, Rei weakly tugged on Minako’s sleeve until they were both laying down.

 

Slowly, Rei ran her fingers through Minako’s hair. Minako closed her eyes and tried to relax, but her mind raced still.

“... Rumors?”

“Hm?”

“You said they had rumors about me. What are they?”

“... You sure you want to know about that?”

“Yes.”

Rei took in a deep breath carefully and let it out. “First, that initially you were Kinbaku trying to get at the others by setting us all off. Then, that you’d had actually lost it and needed a mental facility... I told them to stop. They have no idea what you’ve been through, but I didn’t tell them. I couldn’t-- I promised you that I wouldn’t. I said that, if you were Kinbaku, you would have already hit us in the past month.”

“So you trust me?”

“... Some. I can’t say I trust you completely, no, but only because you’re freaking out; not because I think you’re evil. You aren’t stable right now, like Ami said. For one, I have to get you out of this hotel room before the police show up in... about thirty minutes. Then, I need to get proper food in you. You’ve lost a lot of weight. You don’t have senshi powers right now - I realized it when Ami said she couldn’t locate you. I figured you would’ve starved to death if you still do... Oh, and third, you’re staying at the shrine.”

“The shrine? I’m dangerous, you said it yourself.”

“Yes, and at the shrine I can watch you. And provide protection with wards and charms around the area. Grandpa would want that.”

That was a sore spot for Rei and Minako grimaced at the mention. Way to sucker her in... “... Okay.”

“And, you’re not taking all your batshit crazy papers to my shrine. We are burning them on the way.”

 

“... They are not batshit crazy!”

 

Rei looked down at her like she was insane. “Minako, you looked like that one movie you made me watch. With the guy with all the photos and strings that was going crazy?”

“Deadpool?”

“... That works too. But, he was able to find something out with his. Point is, you don’t need that stress. We’re working on a system now to tell apart real from fake. Code words. Questions. And Ami is making a chip to put in our communicators to help tell.”

“And if it’s Kyoufu?”

“Kyoufu doesn’t have a computer device. And, Ami can will hers into existence when and where she wants. That’s a dead give away. Not to mention the cell phones they don’t have, with the senshi chat. Now get up, get your shit together, and let’s go. That’s ten minutes wasted.”

Minako hesitated before getting up and gathering her stuff up, including the box of her theories and ideas, frowning at it. “Ami hates me now, doesn’t she.”

“No. ... Ami looks up to you.” Standing up, Rei walked over to the door. “She did what you would have done if she were you. You would have gotten into her face and given her a dose of reality… Ah, right - they’re really worried, but they won’t come near you at the shrine for a few days. They’ll give you space; time to adjust. And, don’t take this the wrong way, but we’re not allowed to be alone. Not after this shit happened.”

Minako nodded; there was a lot of damage to the room. The lamp on the nightstand was smashed on the ground, there was blood in the carpet, the digital clock lay in pieces by the door, and the walls had many holes in them. “This is going to be expensive to pay for.”

“Ami already covered that front. Come on.”

 

Taking a slow breath, Minako left the room and followed Rei. They stopped by a metal bin; Minako dumped her box files and theories in it and Rei used her powers to light it on fire. If this was Haikou leading her, Minako was sure she was going to die. If her and Rei worked as a team, she was sure Kinbaku and Haikou did... or… did they?

Suddenly a thought crossed her mind.

“They don’t work together.”

“What?”

“The evil versions. They work alone - think about it; Kyoufu split up to be with us, and, Ami was with Gakuzen and Kinbaku, but Kinbaku walked off, so Ami escaped. And... Kinbaku and Haikou didn’t work together at all. They did things separately. …And, our planets’ retrogrades have different time ranges, I think.”

“Oh?” Rei slowed her walk down to pay attention to the conversation.

“Kyoufu said Mercury would retrograde in 3 weeks, right?”

“Yeah, I remember that.”

“So at least they’re predictable that way, right? It took a solid month for Kinbaku to retrograde, so maybe it’ll be a month before she’s back? When would the next one be exactly? Oh, and, Mercury should have had one already… but she didn’t. Or maybe she did, and...”

Rei sighed. “Minako…Let it go, please. Just for now?”

It frustrated Minako to stop when she had a lead going, but she nodded, thinking it over by herself as they walked to the shrine. She would figure this out one way or another... she has another month or so until another Venus retrograde. She was sure she’d see signs of Kinbaku again before that, though, and frowned.

“How many mirrors are at the shrine?”

“Like... three? Mostly in the bathrooms. Why?”

“You can’t tell the others.”

“Minako, I’m not gonna promise anything. Either tell me, or don’t, and I’ll force it out of you one way or another.”

“... I’ve been seeing Kinbaku since I saw that security footage. When I rewatched it, sometimes she was there, sometimes not. Then, it progressed to mirrors and stuff. Then, glimpses of her standing behind me…”

 

Rei blinked as understanding sinked in. “So that’s what she meant when she said she was fucking with you…… Ugh, can we call Kinbaku an it? I don’t like thinking of it as you.”

 

Minako nodded at that. “Yeah, fair… But, yeah, it would appear anywhere. I could hear it laugh and all that. It was…”

“Scary?”

“Very.”

“Well, you won’t have to worry at the shrine. Consecrated wards and charms galore to keep you safe.”

 What Rei didn’t tell her, was that the others were still going to have that talk with her. Regardless of if she wanted it or not; it needed to be done. Her issues needed to be addressed.

Hino Rei hereby swears; Aino Minako will be walking right back into the intervention she had walked out of.


	3. Chapter 3

Minako had been forced into silence for the rest of the walk back towards the shrine. She had continued to mull over the retrograde spirits, to the point Rei had told her she’d heard more than enough and that the discussion was to be dropped immediately.

Her thoughts continued, though, so she kept them to herself. The look Rei gave her was one worth heeding, for certain.

It was a shame though, because she had been able to figure just a touch more information out by talking with someone else about it... and Rei was the only one she could trust in this situation.

 

 

They had gotten to the top of the stairs at the shrine when Rei suddenly started to go down beside her. She didn’t expect it, and really couldn’t, but by some form of luck Minako had caught her.

Less luckily though, it had jostled her injured shoulder. Now she was pissed. Rei had kept quiet this entire time before just passing out and did her best to make it look like she’s doing just fine, typical of her… or, Minako realized, she hadn’t been paying much attention to Rei...

So she didn’t notice a thing. Just great. Basking in shame is _exactly_ what she needed right about now. Oh, and, it isn’t doing Rei any favours either to just stare at her like this.

Minako shook her head and focused on the matter at hand.

Now… what could she do in this situation? She hasn’t the strength to haul Rei back into her room, much less with the hurting shoulder…

Biting her lip, she made a choice. Slowly and carefully, she pulled Rei towards the shade, sweating in the process; less because of the effort and more because of Rei’s fever fit. It apparently increased the temperature in the area around Rei.

Then Minako hesitated at the next step. She picked her communicator out of her pocket, stared down at it, and then glanced at Rei.

Nonresponsive.

 

Groaning, she flipped the communicator open and pushed the little blue button before she gets more cause for any further regrets today.

 

“What happened?” Ami’s tone was immediately accusing. Minako had to bite back the retort that was at the tip of her tongue.

“Rei passed out the moment she got to the shrine. … I can’t move her by myself, and I’m not sure if it’s one of her fits, or something else. I got her into some shade, but… I’d feel better… if...”

The words started to trail off as she thought more and more about the possibility that this was not the real Ami. She bit her lower lip and willed herself to continue despite it.

“... If you came to check her. And help me move her.”

There was a small sigh on the other side of the line, but Minako realized that it’s one in thought, rather than frustration. “Keep a close eye on her. Make sure she doesn’t overheat and go into a seizure. It hasn’t happened yet thus far - but there’s a risk, with how high her fever gets. It’ll take me about fifteen minutes to get there, and three to be at the top of the stairs.”

“And if she has a seizure?”

“Then make sure she doesn’t hit her head or start to choke on her spit.”

“... Alright.”

With that, the call ended and Minako looked back down at Rei. She could see the sweat pouring down her face and neck, and she felt awful. She was mad still, rightly so, for Rei keeping quiet on how she felt, and at herself for not paying more attention to her.

Hesitating, Minako reached over to Rei’s side, the side she had gotten stabbed at, and just from touching the black shirt she had on, her fingers came back red. It must have opened on their walk back here. Did Rei exert herself to keep a decent pace…? Yep…

 

 

The worst fifteen minutes of Minako’s life thus far, of only waiting and doing nothing, felt like it dragged on like hours. For the briefest of moments, she was glad to see Ami’s blue head at the base of the stairs, before the tension in her shoulders came back; a fight or flight response. _What if it was..._

But, to her relief, she saw that Ami was on her phone as she hiked the stairs, before putting it away and kneeling down next to Rei.

“This whole time she’s been out?”

“Yeah. I didn’t try to wake her, because… I didn’t know if it was okay to do that.”

“Let’s get her inside.”

 

 

With some coordination, the small waifish Ami and one shoulder injured Minako struggled to manage. They got Rei inside, to her room, and onto her bed where Ami immediately set to work on checking her.

Minako kept her mouth shut about the intense pain in her shoulder; Rei was more important in this situation.

 

After nearly half an hour, Ami stepped away and turned to look at Minako with concern. Minako was more concerned about Rei, still.

“Is she okay?”

“She will be. I think…” Ami paused, as she usually would while she thoroughly thought of the question on the tip of her tongue. “... Rei transformed at the hotel, yes?”

“Yeah.”

“And used her powers?”

“No. She tried hand to hand combat.”

Minako watched as Ami turned to scrutinize Rei again, eyebrows knit together in puzzled concern.

… Why was that so important to ask? Minako took a second to think of when Rei did use her power back there… _ah_ , right.

“... On our way back, she lit a small fire - for some papers I had on me from the hotel.” Minako decided that details here weren’t necessary. There were enough rumors, as Rei had said, milling about the girls, and she didn’t need them really distrusting her.“... For like, two seconds. That was it.”

Ami sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose silently for a few moments. “She was under direct instruction not to do that kind of thing for about another week.”

 

Slowly Ami turned back towards Minako, looking down at her. Minako didn’t like that she was the smaller one of the two in this situation.

 

“Why not?”

“... She tried to, in a fight; a fire soul. She collapsed before the attack could even finish, and her body tried to shut down. Rei’s been having to fight with hand to hand combat ever since…” Ami paused and grimaced really hard. “... Since all of this started.”

More reasons to be pissed at Rei. Minako glared over at her.

It was good that it seemed like the fever fit she was having had stopped, but, _honestly?_ She knew not to do that and she did it anyways. They could have found plenty of other ways to discard the papers she had--

 

“... Minako.”

“--Yes?”

“You’re bleeding.”

 

Minako looked down at her shoulder and, indeed, her shirt had started to stain red. The pain was something she was becoming accustomed to at this point, so she hadn’t noticed.

She has two options in this case: ignore it entirely, or take her chances and let Ami look at it. … Wait. Minako blinked; she was sure she’d seen Ami with her phone earlier, that was proof enough that she’s not a retrograde spirit.

Shaking her head, trying to shed the irrational feeling of apprehension, Minako pulled her shirt off. The bandage was soaked in blood.

“She must have hit a vein. What happened exactly?” Ami knelt down next to her, pulling her medical bag up next to her.

“ _It_ threw a dagger at me... Went right through.”

 

Minako had agreed with Rei on not calling Kinbaku a ‘ _she_ ’. It’s a retrograde spirit, and not... _her_. It is _not_ her. To acknowledge it even in that small way was…too much. Emotionally and mentally.

 

Ami made a noise. Right now, though, Minako couldn’t figure out what the noise had meant.

“Dammit…” Ami was taking the bandages off her shoulder quickly, looking at it more closely. The injury hadn’t improved; Minako wasn’t healing.

She hadn’t said anything about it earlier; Ami didn’t know how bad it actually was… maybe she should’ve tracked Makoto down and had her carry Rei instead, earlier. No matter, it’s time for damage control.

“How badly does it actually hurt?”

Minako noted a touch of guilt across Ami’s face and it took a second to realize why. Ami had put some pressure onto it back at the hotel room; Minako hadn’t been cooperative back then, and, based on the treatment she’d initially gotten, Ami must’ve misjudged the severity of it.

Feeling shameful and looking away, Minako muttered.

“It’s kind of mostly numb.”

Ami seemed to really mull over that information. Minako could almost hear the gears turning inside that head of hers... It only took a second, all in all. Ami spoke quickly.

 

“In all honesty, you should really go to the hospital, but… I can try and do something here with the Mercury Computer - It’s going to... to be frank, hurt like a motherfucker. The way you are now, I can’t give you the usual senshi-grade painkillers, I don’t think regular painkillers would work quickly enough, and the wound’s too deep for local anesthetics; I’m afraid to waste any further time before permanent damage is done…”

She shot Minako an apologetic look. “... And, also, you have to be fully awake for this, I think. ”

 

 _Uh oh_. Minako blinked in dread.

 

“What do you have to do?”

“Laparoscopic surgery… put a small tube camera and a tool into your shoulder. I need to find the nerve it hit, and try and see if I can fix it; or at the very least, see if it’s something that can heal on its own. If I don’t do this, you’ll more than likely lose feeling in your entire arm. Even worse, there’s a chance that you’ll lose the ability to use your arm.”

Lose the ability to… well, fuck. That was her good hand and arm, for more than one reason... that was the hand she used to get Rei-- oh, uh, this is serious. No joking about that right now.

Minako swallowed the truth and proceeded to the bargaining stage.

“... Can we go to another room? I don’t want to wake Rei up if she needs some rest. We can go to the bathroom, since I’m, well… bleeding out and all-- I really don’t want to replace her _tatami_ mats again.”

That had been _expensive_. The last time they had a nasty fight and had to be patched up at the shrine, Minako had swore that, from then on, it is forbidden to be bleeding all over the _tatami_.

“Good idea.” Ami nodded and stood up, gathering her tools and the bag and going. Minako followed suit, silently batting away at the errant thought that this could be Kyoufu about to land the finishing blow--

 

Minako almost ran into Ami when she stopped stone-cold in front of the bathroom. _The hell?_

 

“Uh. Earth to Ami?”

“S…Sorry.”

Minako wanted to ask questions, but, even if Ami decided to confide in her about it, she didn’t have the time to listen. Here’s to hoping she’ll remember it for later...

 

They progressed into the bathroom, and Minako paused for a moment before taking her pants off.

To her delight, Ami’s pallor under the bright bathroom light turned into the brightest shade of red she had seen.

“... Why…? You didn’t…have to...”

It was cute, watching her fumble with words like that. Clearly Ami, then, not Kyoufu. Minako noted to herself: an embarrassed reaction is a good tell.

“I figured, like… you’d have to clean things after,” Minako pointed to the hose on the wall, “--So, this way, my pants won’t get wet.”

Sure, maybe she was still in her bra and underwear, but she could easily steal some of Rei’s to fix that issue. She didn’t want to walk around through Rei’s house with sopping wet pants.

With that, she tossed them outside and shut the door back before sitting down on one of the stools, Ami doing the same across from her, though still red in the face.

 

Minako watched as Ami pulled her magic computer out of thin air. She’s seen her do it countless times now; she still thought it was crazy, how she could do that... it made her a little jealous. Then, she was pulling a device out from one of its slots; seems to be the camera, like she’d said earlier.

It was a very thin, slender tube, better than state of the art; to be expected of Mercurian technology, but there’s something about its needle tipped appearance, that…

Minako swallowed in fear. It really was going to hurt, quote unquote, like a motherfucker. Wasting no time, Ami reached into her bag and pulled out a few metallic tools, glinting under light, arranged them in a metal bowl, and poured antiseptic into it… _oh yeah_ , this was going to _really_ _suck_...

… Yeah, this _super, duper_ sucks; Ami had sprayed the room _and_ her shoulder _generously_ with disinfectant, and _then_ she snapped a pair of brand new gloves on.

 

“Okay, I need you to be as still as you can throughout the process.”

 

 _Okay, that’s easier said than done, but here goes_ …

Minako took in a deep breath and released it. Ami leaned forward, towards Minako’s shoulder, tip of the camera between fingers on one hand; she waited for steadiness before putting it into the wound and Minako let out a squeak of pain, biting her lip to keep from yelping.

She had hoped that maybe, once the thing was inside her shoulder it’d stop hurting, but, oh _god_ … she could feel Ami moving it around in her!

“You okay?”

“Let me… _fuck_ …-- Let me shove a camera in you and ask _you_ that.”

“Sorry. Bear with it for now, after we’re done I can give you something in a pill… Sorry.” Ami went silent after that, focusing on her computer as she controlled the camera tube, looking around inside of Minako’s shoulder.

“Found it. Good news... it didn’t actually cut the nerve, but the swelling caused them to bunch up - so I’ll have to... decompress, them. It may not hurt initially, but it will, once you regain sensation...”

Ami paused and suddenly gave Minako the most apologetic look she’s ever seen.

“... Including the full pain of the camera in your shoulder.”

 

Minako voice squeaked in distress. “I’m… _what!?_ ”

 

“As they are, your nerves aren’t fully registering the pain. You’re feeling more discomfort than pain right now - So, I’m going to just… _slightly displace_ some swollen flesh, and pull my tool out. Then, I’m going to remove the camera _very_ quickly... Maybe coming in here was smart, I think you might vomit.”

“You _think?_ ”

“... 82.3% chance.”

Taking a second to calm down, Minako focused on remembering how Ami would blink like that whenever she had to pull a number out of her ass.

“... Ugh… alright. Let’s do this quickly then.”

“I’ll have to do this slowly, but after that I’ll go as quickly as I can.”

 

Minako felt queasy the moment Ami’s hand touched... whatever the hell the tool was, that she picked up. It looked like a big tweezer with small, thin, and hooked blunt tips. The chances of her puking her guts out were definitely higher than Ami predicted.

The yelp came out this time when the tool went into her shoulder, and tears pricked the corners of her eyes. This wasn’t even the most intense pain she was about to feel, not yet, and she was already in tears. Maybe some god would be kind and grace her with the gift of just going unconscious...

 

The two of them remained silent; for a while, the only sound in the room was the occasional - and absolutely _sickening_ \- _squelch_ of the tool moving amongst and against flesh, and then suddenly Minako let out a scream.

Ami had fixed whatever _the fuck_ was going in there, and the pain she had been promised was more than tenfold of what she’d imagined; she could feel the _thing_ and the camera searing bursts of _pure blinding pain_ within her body and she started to curl forward until Ami pushed her back up. “Stay still.”

Minako whimpered a little. It had to sound... no, it _absolutely_ sounded pathetic. The intense pain drowned out _everything else_ and she had trouble focusing and staying up right.

“Okay, I’m taking out the pinset. I can’t do this quickly, it’s angled and will catch on something, so… I’m sorry.”

 

“ _HOLY FUCK._ ” Minako felt her jaw lock and her eyes shut, tears starting to fall down her face as Ami steadily removed them at what felt like a snail's pace-- She gasped _hard_ as it finally left her. The pain was too much.

She leaned over - camera still attached to her - and threw up absolutely anything she had in her stomach.

 

“Minako, stay with me. Sit back up - we’re almost done... You can do this.” Ami was gentle with helping her back up, and it was clear she felt awful for the situation at hand. “... I can wait before removing the camera if you want.”

Minako shook her head. She would rather live with the camera sticking out of her shoulder if given the option in the next ten minutes, but she needed this to be over quickly.

“Alright, take a deep slow breath...”

God, even doing just that had hurt... she swallowed, grimacing at the taste of after-vomit in her throat and mouth. It’ll be over soon…

 

“Three, two, one.”

 

The ripping pain came and Minako screamed out again, curling into herself and clutching onto her arm, the tears coming freely at this point. She couldn’t recall the last time she had felt pain that was so intense like this. How did normal people _survive_ this kind of shit?

Note to self: get back into eating a ton of food and return to senshi healing to _never_ experience this again.

“Can you sit up again, so we can get all this blood washed up?”

Minako could only weakly hold her hand up, trying not to vomit a second time. The pain was… _god_ it hurt so much she couldn’t even begin to describe it. If this was what those novels meant by digging into your shoulder, she had grossly underestimated what they meant.

Taking her time, she slowly sat back against the wall behind her, tears still in her eyes. She had to look a mess.

Ami reached over and picked the shower head up, turning it on and letting it get to lukewarm water.

“This might still hurt some… Wait, no. I’ll wash the blood off, then… I have to disinfect it thoroughly - Unless you want to stay on antibiotics for a week. You understand _why_.” Ami gave her a stern look. “Then, I’ll just pat it dry and wrap you back up.”

The water did sting some and Minako initially flinched before accepting it and relaxing some. Then, Ami reached for the soap.

Minako noted to herself again: _never, ever_ neglect senshi duties _ever_ again.

 

 

After what is _now definitely_ the _very worst_ fifteen minutes of her life - a new record, all in the same day - she was washed off, and Ami began the process of toweling her and wrapping her back up.

Counter intuitively, Minako found that she could think clearly again. It reminded her of something she’d read about spiritual self-flagellation… … _Oh_ … 緊縛 … Welp. No more kinky stuff for a decade, then.

That aside, she has more important things to think about for now. Eyes tired but focused again, she looked up at Ami.

 

“... Thank you, Ami.”

“For what? I’m sure what I just did wasn’t the most pleasant, like at all.”

“No… but you could have let me suffer.”

“But you _did_ suffer... but, I know what you mean. Minako, you’re still a team player to us, don’t think otherwise.”

 

Minako was silent for several minutes.

 

“Ami?”

“Hm?” Ami looked up at her as she finished putting the surgery set-up away and leaned back, digging around in the bag for a sling to put Minako in for a couple of days.

“Do you hate me?”

“Hate you? For what?”

“... Abandoning my duty. Leaving. Trusting no one. Possibly throwing a teacup at you? Michiru must be pissed I got tea on her new rug…”

“They got it out easily. I helped. I... don’t hate you, no. … I’ve been there.”

 

Oh. _Oh yeah_. Germany was a thing. Germany was the _exact_ same thing. Ami continued.

 

“Still though… you’re our leader, and when you go rogue on us like this we aren’t sure how stable you’ll be after that point. We’ll fall apart without you... we spent a solid month looking for you and Rei spent her free time calling hotels left and right across Tokyo to try and find you. I even, uhh... I hacked the GPS server. To trace your phone. … But you turned it off.”

Ami looked guilty as hell. Minako smiled a little at that. “Oh no… I… actually forgot my charger, and it died. Heh--” It turned into a grimace; the mere act of chuckling had enacted a new wave of nausea due to the lingering pain. “--Painkillers, please.”

“Hang tight, let me get a glass of water.”

Ami left the room and Minako curled as small as she could into herself.

 

Left alone like this, her entire world returned to nothing but intense pain and misery. She eyed the sling Ami had left behind... she’d need a shirt on first, before that happened. Rei had a few button downs that might be easier to put on...

 

Ami had returned with the water. “Here…” _Bless, thank you god_ … She handed Minako two pills that she didn’t question, until she looked at the glass and stopped dead in her tracks.

“What’s wrong?”

“I… uhm… No ice, please.”

 

“Oh! I forgot-- Sorry!” Ami left the room again and returned quickly with an iceless cup of water. Minako was not taking her chances of dying to an ice cube after she just survived having her shoulder prodded… She will _not_ be putting ice cubes near her mouth anytime soon.

Tossing the pills in her mouth, she took the glass of water and threw it back, downing it in one go. Screaming and throwing up had left her parched.

“Thanks. And… Ami? I… need you to go to Rei’s room and get me some clothes. A bra and a shirt.”

Ami blushed a tad. “... Uh…?”

“I know, sorry.” Minako ran her good hand over her face. “Top drawer has her bras in it... and just look in her closet for a flannel button down. I can wear my jeans again so just bring those back in with you.”

 

It took several moments, but Ami returned, still a little red in the face as she held the bra out to Minako, who frowned at a thought. “I’m... going to need help. …--You won’t have to see anything.”

Moving carefully, she turned so her back was facing Ami. After a few fumbles, Ami managed to unclasp the bra and Minako pulled it off before taking the new one to slide it on. “First hook should be fine.”

“But... yours was on the second set…?”

“My chest is a little bigger than Rei’s so I have to move one set.”

“I… umm… _oh_ …”

 

Mini briefing done, Minako pulled the shirt on carefully. First she had Ami hold the sleeve for her bad arm out and she slid it in, hissing at the pain. Then the other arm, careful not to tug it around too much. Next, she worked on getting it buttoned up with just one hand

She grunted in frustration after the first two, and, to Ami’s displeasure, reached up with the other hand despite how much it hurt.

Lastly, it was getting her pants back on, which was far easier than she had expected it to be. Boy was she glad she didn’t go with one of her tighter fitting pairs… With her done dressed, Ami carefully got the sling put into place. It held her arm in place as stiff as possible; not the most comfortable.

“Alright, you should probably - _definitely_ \- go lay down and get some rest before the painkillers set in… you need it regardless; I’m not sure of how much actual sleep you’ve gotten since you went AWOL on us. I’m... going to clean up in here, so if you need anything, just yell.”

Minako nodded, not willing to argue any points. She was beyond exhausted between the lack of sleep, the intense pain, and the medicine setting in on an empty stomach.

 

Carefully, she shuffled into Rei’s room and stopped at the edge of bed to just stare at the other girl.

Rei had... spent the entire month calling every hotel she could think of across Tokyo. On top of her shrine work, running the team, fighting youma... Minako found it incredibly sweet and saddening at the same time.

Up close like this, with none of the usual facade of stoic strength, Minako could see how run down Rei had become over it all. Minako felt _guilt_ gnawing at her, and she bit her lip. She’d have to properly apologize in the morning... or whenever she’d wake up.

For now, Minako supposed she'll just have to swallow the aftertaste of frustration at how reckless Rei had been.

 

Hesitating for just a moment, she moved to climb over Rei to get to the empty side of the bed, though it was a challenge with just one arm. She wound up straddling Rei in the process, which apparently woke her up.

 

“... Mina?”

“Go back to sleep, it’s fine.”

“No, I’m... it’s okay.” She watched as Rei reached up to rub her own face. “I have stuff to do.”

“It can wait for a little while, Rei. Sleep.”

“I’m fine, Minako.” Rei was getting awfully defensive and Minako huffed at that.

“As your leader--”

“You aren’t leader right now.”

 

That hit a nerve. Minako, emotionally flimsier than a half ply of wet tissue at this point, clenched her jaw hard as she glared down at Rei.

 

“You know what? Fine. If you want to suffer, then suffer. I’m trying to be nice and help you out, and this is how you’re going to act - like a child?”

Rei squinted and grimaced; right now, she can’t. She just can’t. She groaned.

“Like you’re one to talk...”

“What’s that supposed to mean!?”

“You’re the one who just-- up and disappeared on us all.”

Minako was sure she was seeing red at that point, but all of a sudden Rei was looking at her with wide eyes.

“What?!”

 

Rei’s eyes shifted to something behind her, and before Minako could turn around she realized it; added weight on the bed behind her, the metallic rattling… _oh shit_.

Something wrapped around her throat, yanking her backwards.

 

She cried out in a strangled noise as her shoulder hit the footboard to Rei’s bed. Once she was able to open her eyes, she met face to face with Kinbaku, chain in hand, the other end currently wrapped around her throat.

Kinbaku grinned, gold tooth glinting in the light. “Man, despite how you two like to bang all the time, you sure do fight a lot!”

She put one foot on Minako’s chest and pulled harder. Minako choked, gasping for air as she reached up with her good hand to try and make room to allow breathing.

 

 _What the fuck?_ She mouthed. It didn’t make sense. It hadn’t even been a full day yet… _this_ was supposed to be a month away from now. Kinbaku was supposed to spend a month in oblivion before coming back. What the _actual_ fuck?

“Did ya miss me? _Aww_. Well, I sure missed you guys.”

 

Rei went to move, to try to get up; to do something, anything. Kinbaku was clearly prepared for that with a short sword in hand; she pointed it towards Rei, who stopped short of meeting its tip with her shoulder.

“Wanna match? It’s like a tattoo! Only a _teeny_ bit more painful.”

Rei clenched her jaw and grunted as she fell back down to the bed.

“ _Fuck you_.”

“Whoa, whaat? You’re willing to share the wealth of your bed with yours truly? Tell you what, let me finish her off, and we can do just that!”

Kinbaku pulled even harder and Minako’s vision started to spot, hard. Currently, death by ice cube didn’t sound so bad…

 

…The next thing she managed to hear, through the blood rushing in her ears, was Kinbaku wheezing. Then, the chain loosened up, and Minako took in a much needed gasp of air.

 

Rei could only stare as Kinbaku dropped dead to the side and rolled off of the bed.

Ami stood in its place, ice dagger covered in blood held in one hand, empty cup in the other.

She had apparently snuck in through the outside door after hearing all the commotion…it explained why she wasn’t there immediately. She flicked the blood off and put the knife in the cup.

 

Rei’s eyes trailed down to Minako.

“Mina?”

 

Getting no reply, she got up and reached out to gently nudge her, but… she wasn’t responsive.

Ami was next to her instantly, making a noise that didn’t sound good. “Rei, I need you to go get one of the IV stands and the emergency bag you keep here. Now. No time to explain.”

Rei moved fast, wasting no time. Nursing her side, she ran down the hallway, into the spare room. She opened the closet and grabbed exactly what was requested before returning to Ami, setting the stand down and handing her the bag.

 

There’s no trace of Kinbaku ever being there, and Ami was on the phone with…Makoto?

“Mako, I don’t have the time to explain - Get here ASAP, it’s an emergency. Rei! Get the IV solution and hang it up for me.”

 

Following the instructions with a few years experience of helping out during the post-fight patch up, Rei had no trouble getting it all set up. Meanwhile, Ami hung up on the phone and worked on putting the needle into the back of Minako’s hand, taping it down firmly and adjusting the drip.

Rei brought the stand near them. “I…uh…What’s happening?”

“She’s in shock. My guess is, she hit her shoulder _again_ ,” Ami gestured at the speck of blood on the bed’s footboard, “And once the adrenaline rush wore off, her body registered it.”

Rei started to panic a little, trying to at least stay calm on the outside. “Is it…is it bad?”

“It can be, if we aren’t quick. ... The IV will get her blood pressure back up, at least.”

Ami then pulled a pair of scissors out of the bag, cut the sling open, and worked on getting Minako’s shirt off.

“... What did we need Makoto for?”

“A blood transfusion. There’s a chance she doesn’t need it, but I can’t afford that risk - she already lost a lot of blood earlier, when I was fixing her shoulder. Since her senshi healing hasn’t kicked in yet, her body isn’t healing... It’s why none of us ever had to suffer from shock like this.”

Hearing the front door, Ami passed the scissors over to Rei. “Can you cut the bandage off her shoulder for me? Carefully.”

As Ami focused to prepare for a direct transfusion, Rei slowly worked on what she was told, staring at how red the bandages had become. They had looked so fresh and new prior...

 

Finding them by scent of blood, Makoto stepped into the room. “Ami? What the fuck…”

 

“I need you to lay down next to Minako.” Ami was still giving directions as she set up a second line. “I need to do a transfusion, quickly.”

“I haven’t had lunch…” Makoto still did as she was told, though her legs hung off the edge of Rei’s bed a little.

“We can fix that later. There’s no time.”

Finding the radial artery, Ami inserted one needle into Makoto’s arm and wired it into the small machine she had set up; she repeated it with Minako for the other end. Then, she turned it on to start the procedure; the blood started to move along in the silver tube and she watched Minako closely.

 

Makoto sniffed, breaking the silence. “Sooo… what happened? Why wasn’t I paged sooner?”

Rei, with nothing to do but watch in dread, stammered to explain. “... Kin… Kinbaku showed up suddenly. Tried to kill Minako. She-- _it_ hit her shoulder that was already injured.”

Makoto looked at Rei. Rei was sure she looked a mess of panic at this point and time. Makoto noticed the side Rei was nursing.

“And you? You should sit down--”

“I’ll be fine--”

 

“Enough.” Ami spoke up in a tone that got everyone’s attention.

 

“Rei, we are going to have a meeting when she’s better. This can’t keep going on - You’re almost out entirely, we can’t rely on her, and if another youma shows up? I’ll have to call the outers in. We _have_ to resolve this.”

Rei made a noise of agreement as she looked down at Minako. She hated to see her look so… defeated. Minako had always fought nail and tooth. For everything and anything.

But, now… she’s unconscious, lying within an inch of her life. Rei had never seen her go down before; usually it would be herself first…To see her laid out on a bed, like this, while Ami started to stitch up the inside of her shoulder wound, was too much.

 

It didn’t help that the only thing Rei could do was hope that everything would be okay soon.

 


	4. Chapter 4

It took three days straight before Minako was able to get up for more than five minutes.

Between the shock to her system and the exhaustion having caught up with her, she had been completely disoriented upon waking up in Rei’s room, IV still in her arm. Ami had provided very strict instructions that she was not to leave the bed and request help if she needed to sit up.

A liquid diet and water, to drink exclusively, for two days; back to solid foods on the third. It took an additional day of her eating well for her senshi powers to finally return. Makoto apparently cooked her a ton of food and left it at the shrine with the intentions that she (and Rei) eat it; Minako suspected Ami told her to cook it all.

… Would Gakuzen be a good cook, or would that be a way to tell the two apart? Could you even ask for a cook off with an evil spirit? The food was fine, just… it bugged her. With nothing to do, she had been restless, and she’d found peace of mind a rarity.

Thankfully, senshi healing meant that by the end of that day, she was already out of the sling. Friday had Ami at Rei’s shrine again to look at her shoulder.

 

“Well…I think after I take the stitches out, it’s going to leave a scar...” Ami was careful in cutting each tidy, tiny little stitch out. To Minako, the pain was nothing compared to the unmedicated surgery she endured just a few days prior.

She could feel herself start healing as soon as Ami pulled the thin strings out of her. “... Well. As much as I love theory testing, never again.”

“Yeah. I’m…yeah.” Nodding as Ami stepped back, Minako looked down at her shoulder. It had completely healed, and, _yeah_ ; despite Ami’s best efforts, it was a nasty looking scar, there. So much for the perfectly unmarred look that the idol and modeling life demands…

Sighing, she pulled her shirt on and the two of them moved into Rei’s room again to join the others around the square table, where the meeting awaited.

  


Minako pulled her knees to her chest as she glanced around at the other girls, all seated around the old loyal low table.

Even now she was wary of them; all of them, Rei included. Kinbaku had been able to appear within the same day, essentially; did that mean that they’ve all got their doubles lurking about unnoticed, like it had been the first time? Or... was it just her?

She paused to assess Rei. She’s still healing from everything Haikou, Kyoufu, and Kinbaku had done to her. Better, now, but not fully. In a few days she’d be able to use her fire skills again, and maybe Minako could beg her to do that little dancing fire figure she’d done in the past to make her feel better...

... Rei looked at her.

 

“Mina.”

“Rei…-- I know. No lashing out. No arguing; no fighting, no getting angry.”

 

Rei nodded back at her, sat back, and let out a slow sigh. “Until I know everything is clear, I still won’t permit you back to scout duty. I can’t risk it appearing during a fight with a youma, or - no offense - you going haywire on us.”

It was a fair request, all things considered. She wasn’t being banned from everything unnecessarily.

“Now then. I think it’d be best of each of us went around, one at a time... I’ll go first, I guess.”

Yeah, straight to the chase with her girlfriend. Perfect. Maybe Ami would finish the deed...

What Minako was most afraid of was Rei spilling secrets that she trusted her with. She swallowed hard at that thought. It would come out that she was a murderer…

... And how she had awful leadership skills; she had constantly doubted herself. Before Rei could even start, she pulled her knees closer to her, shrinking into herself.

 

“Actually, Rei, I think it might be best that you go last.” Ami intervened and spared Minako some dignity, at least for a while.

“Last?”

“Yes. I’m afraid I think you’ll have more of an impact than the rest of us might - given that you are the closest to her. We don’t want to…” Ami paused, and her glance flickered over to Minako. “... Start anything too early.”

“Mm…” Minako made a small noise of agreement. Ami was right, she’d be most upset at whatever Rei had to say, over the others. “Alright, you first then.”

Ami’s already prepared her case. “Why decide to take a whole month off? You could have picked any variable of time, but you chose a month.”

“I had a lot of paid time off that I was going to lose, so I wanted to use it at once... so I wouldn’t be cut short on any of my bills. They asked me, why so long? - And that’s what I told them.” Minako shrugged a little.

“I picked a hotel at random in the safer side of town, near a market so I could get food to eat, and withdrew cash so I wouldn’t leave a paper trail.”

“Hmm...” Ami seemed to think on that for a few moments. “You were so distrusting that you proceeded to lie to your station and the officers you work with. Why?”

_Yeah… why so many damn questions about dumb details like these?_

“I’d…” Minako fidgeted for a moment. “I’ve been seeing flashes of Kinbaku at work, here and there. I didn’t want her showing up and harming someone innocent.”

“... And we don’t count as such?”

“That’s not what I meant and you know it.”

“... Well then, that’s all I’ve got. Mako?”

 

_Please have mercy, Makoto._

Makoto tilted her head as she looked at Minako. They’ve had the least interaction since Minako disappeared. …Since the meeting before the retrograde spirits appeared for the first time and fucked everything up, really.

They’ve grown somewhat distant, that’s a fact. It won’t be hard to mend, though; Minako’s always found it easy to get along with her, being the loyal, minimally nosey friend that she is…

… Which, Minako realized as she failed to discern what’s inside the long hard look Makoto’s giving her; if she can’t even tell her and Gakuzen apart, maybe it’s going to be much harder.

 

“... ...ou been eating?”

 

“... What?” Minako blinked, her focus returning to the present.

Makoto’s lips are a thin line, but she repeated herself. “Have you been eating right?”

“I... I wasn’t a senshi then, so I didn’t need to really eat much.”

The look Makoto gave her was... something worth noting, alright. A tug at the lips that was a frown, the disappointment in her eyes. Maybe it looked like concern, but that felt too optimistic…

Makoto shrugged. “Well, okay. That’s all I’ve got.”

…That’s all? Which means…

 

Minako finally looked eye to eye with Rei, and frowned immediately. Oh boy, what was she gonna lay out on the table?

“I’m…”

Rei was clearly trying to be careful on picking which of her cards to play.

Minako hoped that that meant her secrets would remain secrets; if Rei spilled any of it, it’d be absolutely catastrophic… she’d have to cut ties with her in more than one way…

“You regret too much too actively.”

Well, that was unexpected, but dead on the mark. Minako was sure the cringe she had was obvious. Every single bad choice she’d made had always followed her from day one.

“And, you don’t know how to let that go, at all - Any of it. If something happens, you take the fault and blame for it, and keep it to yourself, until it builds up into too much.”

 _God_ that was scarily accurate. It was what had lead to this whole situation and Minako stared down at the table, recalling each mistake she made and how she handled each and every one of them.

It was never a good ending. Whether it was going home to cry or to scream into a pillow, or...

There had been times where she’d used more than enough aggressive force as a police officer. Like on that late night robbery after a bad fight...

Suddenly, she felt every hair on the back of her neck raise up.

 

She swallowed hard and looked up at the others. They seemed to be discussing something while she had mentally signed out for a while there.

“ _Uuh_ … guys. I think… we have a problem.”

Rei raised her eyebrows at her.

“I’m…I guess my thoughts got kind of dark, on accident, and uhm… I think, Kinbaku is...” The fact that she could feel _it_ was startling... it made her stomach churn in dread.

The entire room went silent as they found themselves in the presence of an enemy.

 

Like something out of a sci-fi movie, Kinbaku had leapt forward straight from right where Minako was sitting.

Everything happened far too quickly for anyone to anticipate.

 

Right across the table from it was Makoto; Kinbaku grabbed a fistful of her hair first and pulled her head down to meet its knee. There was a loud, painful _crack_ as Makoto’s nose broke, spilling blood everywhere and sending her reeling with a gasp.

Minako tried to move, but Kinbaku whirled around and kicked her. She raised her arms to block it, but it still sent her sprawling backwards.

The others had moved into action as quickly as possible; Rei stood up and Ami had drawn water from the cup she had and frozen it into a dagger, but Kinbaku turned to address her next.

“Won’t work again this time!”

It seemed to vanish. Ami’s eyes widened, and so did Minako’s from where she could see it happen; it’s her infamous ninja step...!

Kinbaku appeared again behind and above Ami, executing a drop kick with a flip landing relish. She crashed face first into the table and it kicked her hard on the side.

Minako scrambled to stand and when she looked back up, she was met with the sight of Kinbaku standing on the table, holding a fully fledged sword to Rei’s throat. Rei remained still; all it’d take is a flick of the wrist…Kinbaku squinted derisively at Minako.

“My, my. All healed up, I see? I was so sure the shock would do you in...”

“... You wouldn’t _dare_.” Minako’s voice was harsh, threatening. Kinbaku couldn’t kill Rei; it needs her alive for Haikou…right?

It grinned, wide and gleeful. “Watch me, bitch.”

 

The blade sliced across Rei’s throat. She let out a wet gasp as she went down.

Minako saw red. She screamed into her transformation; in a flurry of light she tackled Kinbaku out of the room, straight through the paper screen door.

  


They tumble across the grass of the backyard of the shrine. Minako shoved herself off of Kinbaku before drawing her own Silver Millenium blade to match the sword it has. If it wanted a fight, it was going to _get_ _a fucking fight_.

It effortlessly propped itself up from having previously lied flat on the ground, and twirled the sword in its hand with grace and skill. Minako could barely pick herself up earlier… she frowned at that, and it smirked in return.

“Little girl, don’t you know how dangerous sharp blades are? You should be careful or you might wind up hurt again.”

Minako grimaced. That’s how she would patronise herself from time to time; now with the sing-song voice out of her head, from her own reflection given flesh, saying it straight to her face...

… This time, it also meant that she could literally pummel her demon into a bloody pulp.

She tightened her grip around the hilt of the holy sword and pointed the tip at Kinbaku.

 

“So help me I’m going to shove this blade so far through your throat, every version of you that’s ever existed will feel it!”

 

Kinbaku’s reaction to that was to start with a chuckle that turned into a full out laugh.

Minako felt… jealousy? At how unrestrained that laugh was, unburdened by any of the guilt that she’s always carried. At how, with that malicious glint in its eyes, it wore her face more beautifully.

It spoke more confidently than she’s ever managed to, lately...

“You think that’ll stop me? That’s so silly! I’ll keep coming back, no matter how many times you try to remove me. I’m here to _stay_ , forever.”

 

Minako’s voice started to tremble. “... That’s a lie.”

 

Kinbaku stepped forward, standing taller somehow, as if gaining strength where she’d lost it… is that how this worked? Minako braced herself; she can’t afford to give it any more advantages.

She suppressed a flinch and held her ground. _It_ challenged her resolve with more syrupy, poisonous words.

“Is it, though? Hmm… how can you know for sure~?”

 

Minako hated that it was right. She had no way to know... but, she has experience. Her and her team, they had shown their mettle against evil forces previously. They had all toiled and prevailed. Minako rooted herself in an attacking stance defiantly.

“Because no evil stays forever. It might change, but it never stays. You’re the first actual threat we’ve had in years, nearly ten, outside of stray _daimon_. You won’t be here to stick about much, either.”

It mirrored her, unfazed by the triumphant words. Maybe it could sense how she only had half her heart in it… “Oh? What’re you gonna do? Call your pretty little princess with her dumb stick to hit me? Worked great on Haikou - give you that one - but you saw how she still came back.”

Kinbaku paused, as though in thought, before smirking.

 

“Also, don’t you just _hate_ that? ‘Cause you can’t do that; you can’t save everyone like she can... you can’t save _anyone_ , for that matter.”

 

That struck a nerve hard enough that Minako threw the first swing and Kinbaku parried, the swords hitting with a loud clang. She winced; somehow, it had felt... wrong, to use the Silver Millenium sword this way. It was meant to protect people, and not… project hostility at her own self, like she’s doing.

Thank the gods Rei had closed the shrine for the day because the last thing anyone needed to see was Minako fighting Sailor Venus. It would be key evidence that they’re not the same person, at least, but it’s not worth it.

They traded blows again, this time Kinbaku striking and Minako deflecting. In defensive use, the holy sword had felt better in her hand.

“I did what I _had_ to do to save more lives!”

“Psh, do you really believe in that? Just admit it, you’re no good... except at murder.” Minako’s heart jumped at that; those words got under her skin. Kinbaku laughed as it took the opportunity to put pressure forward, and forced her to take another step backwards.

 

“It had been such a thrill, though, right? Remember the very first guy you dusted at London? He was... Stephen, wasn’t it? Man, he couldn’t even react; you just straight up blasted him to bits! Looked like something outta one of those horror films!”

 

Minako put a hand on the flat of her sword and pushed back hard. “You shut the hell up! You don’t know anything!”

“Oh, yes I do... I know everything you know.” Kinbaku held its ground and leaned forward, right into her face. It spoke through bared teeth, an ugly grin. “I’m you, only better.”

It drew back, seemingly allowing a slight give, and then slammed its head forward. Minako stumbled back in pain, hand up to her forehead where it had just headbutted her. She didn’t move quick enough to defend from the incoming blow, so she took a sidestep, the blade grazing her leg.

This has to end as soon as possible.

Grinding her teeth, she steeled herself; she moved forward, clashing their swords back and forth for long enough to throw Kinbaku off when she lifted her heel and kicked it in the chest.

 

The moment its back touched the ground, Minako brought the holy sword down with a scream and separated its head from its body.

 

As she watched it crumble away from existence, the sword grew seethingly hot in her hand, glowing. She dropped it and it broke into pieces of light when it fell, and then disappeared.

Minako knew why; it wasn’t meant to be used like this... to kill in cold blood.

She sank to her hands and knees... _murderer_. Kinbaku was right. To this day, she could still kill in cold blood without a second thought.

 

Forcing herself to focus elsewhere, she lowered her hand to the cut on her leg, and pulled it back up. Her glove was stained red. She estimated that, in probably a few hours, it’d heal completely and all traces of it would be gone.

Sighing, she started to pull herself up off the ground... only to find herself kicked forward.

Caught off guard, she tumbled down with a yelp. Clenching her jaw, she rolled over and Kinbaku was above her.

 

“Yo. Miss me? Damn, though! I didn’t think you had the balls to cut my head off like that! You really are some crazy bitch, huh?”

Kinbaku cackled. Minako broke in cold sweat and struggled to get up, before it could--

“I mean, the last time you made a crazy call, you got them _all_ killed!”

 

There it was. Minako felt her blood freeze at that, and her fists balled up. It wouldn’t _dare_ …

 

“Yeah, D-point - Exactly. Just what you’re thinking.”

Kinbaku tapped its head. Great, now it could kind of read thoughts? As if she hadn’t had enough torment already... “I mean, you already knew they were going to die, but weren’t you supposed to go first as their leader? Makoto though, damn.”

It whistled as Minako stood up. “That was awesome! Looked painful as hell, too. You should ask her how it felt, sometime. Kinda curious on how it feels to have pure electricity run rampant in your body like that--”

“Shut the _fuck_ up!” Minako swung forth with her fist, hitting the mark and busting Kinbaku’s lip open. It stumbled back, but the grin it gave, followed by the swipe of tongue to clean the blood up... Minako fought the urge to shiver. It was _unsettling_.

 

“--And then... you let poor little Ami go into the fray. Girl can’t fight worth a damn, you knew that for sure, and you still just up and left her behind like that? That’s _cold_. Coulda stayed with her and fought, but _nooo_... You couldn’t leave hot babe Rei alone, right?”

The grin grew wider. “And it was all for you to just _fail,_ _oh-so-hard!_ ”

  


Minako didn’t fully register what had happened until everything was standing still.

Apparently, she had summoned her chain and whipped it forward. Somehow, in some way, she had created a sharp pointed tip at the end of it; it had lodged itself in Kinbaku’s throat, leaving it gurgling as it drowned in its own blood.

It was, in a way, more violent than chopping her own head off. She gripped the chain and yanked it back towards herself, ripping it free. Kinbaku turned to dust before it hit the ground and Minako willed the chain away.

 

 _Frustrating_. Kinbaku seemed to keep reappearing, left and right, no matter how many times Minako defeated it. In fact; the last two times, she was sure it wasn’t even seriously fighting back. Just fucking around with her mentally.

It had worked. She shut her eyes at that and shuddered. When she opened them again, Kinbaku was standing right where it had just fallen.

Minako seethed at the sight.

 

“Do you ever stay dead?”

“No. Do you ever learn?”

 

Its smile contrasted Minako’s frown. She was growing tired, and she knew she’s close to losing her transformation. Whatever the deal was with her chain earlier, it had exerted more energy than she was prepared to use.

“Well, playtime’s over, I’m afraid. I need to remove you completely so I can get your power. It’s been fun, fucking with you for the past month... seeing you jump at every corner…”

The glee in its smirk reached its eyes. “But... today, it ends. I’ll kill you, Haikou will come about, and she’ll finish your babe off. Made sure not to cut too deep, ya know?”

Minako braced herself as Kinbaku walked towards her. In her current state, even using a single Crescent Beam would wipe out the rest of her fighting energy…It was time for the real fight.

 

It cracked its knuckles and Minako noticed them, gleaming in its hands; a pair of knuckle dusters.

It’s beyond a beatdown at this point; it’s a long drawn execution.

Very well, then. If Minako’s going to die, she would die kicking and screaming.

 

She raised her fists, but the first blow came faster than she could react to it. Following it right after is another, and another; cheek, jaw, abdomen. She stumbled back, further and further with each blow, too stunned to put up much of a fight...

It effortlessly slapped away the few punches she managed to blindly throw out.

 _Completely outmatched_. That’s just the reality of it; it’s playing with its prey, even. These are just love taps. It could’ve done a lot more damage than a couple of bruised ribs… There it is, those ribs are broken now. It knocked the air out of her, and she bowed down in pain.

The next straight hook, landing square between her eyes, had her vision start to blur. She squinted...

 

Kinbaku was grinning triumphantly as it built up for a fully grounded uppercut.

 

Its fist slammed her jaw with a resounding _crack_. The taste of blood exploded in her mouth and she was thrown up and back by the force of it.

 

Minako inhaled sharply and let out a wheeze as she landed. Her transformation gave out, and she swore the table she landed on almost did, too.

Everything hurt so much. Physically. Mentally. Emotionally. When her vision unblurred she was met with the sight of Ami over Rei, still trying to keep her from bleeding out.

Why was it Rei who was the one that’s always hurt the most?

 

Minako’s eyes watered in frustration. No matter how many mistakes she made, Rei was the one who ended up either getting hurt, or listening to her rant and rave about this and that…

… It was like something clicked in her head. After nearly two months, it finally made sense.

 

With a determined look on her face, Minako picked herself up and marched back out of the house; Makoto went after her, until she raised her hand for her to stay put. It was a movement that held the force of Minako as leader.

A commander. One to be followed without question.

Seeing this, Makoto did just that.

  


Kinbaku was stretching its arms when Minako stepped back out. It stood there with mockery in its eyes. “Welcome back, I was pretty sure you’d just stay laying there ready to die.”

Minako spat out blood and pieces of teeth onto the grass, and met it with a steely gaze.

“No. Because... I’m not everything you say I am.”

It seemed to pause and falter for the slightest of moments. “Beg your pardon?”

 

“I’ll admit it... I killed people in London. I had to make a choice at that time, even after I figured out what was going on. I had a choice; to kill one innocent person who’d had the awful fate of being selected to become evil, or let hundreds - or thousands, even - die. London is a massive city. A rampaging youma would wipe people out rapidly; either by draining energy, or mass murder itself, depending.”

 

“... Still makes you a murderer.”

“It does. Yes. I agree.”

Kinbaku flinched at that one. Minako swallowed the bit of blood left after the bleeding stopped, and continued.

“It’s something I will have to live with, for all of eternity... for as long as the Silver Crystal deems I should exist. Something I have to come to terms with - Their families will never see them again, nor will their friends... And I have to live knowing that it’s because of me. But, I also get to live knowing how many other people I saved.”

“... And your choice to murder your friends?”

“That wasn’t a choice that I made alone. We _all_ went into that fight together, knowing we wouldn’t make it out alive. I wasn’t meant to go first; no one was meant to go first. We did our job. We protected the princess.”

 

Kinbaku laughed hard; forced. “Yeah, and you still failed!”

“I did, _we_ didn’t; Usagi made it, didn’t she? … I saved her. I pushed her out of the way, and didn’t get a chance in hell to put up a good fight. I took out one of the enemies knowing I’d die - it was charging a massive fireball explosion. Rei…”

“Rei was meant to go last. She’s the most protective of us all. Over any of us... especially Usagi.” Minako started to walk towards Kinbaku, who seemed suddenly uncomfortable.

“You’re me, alright. Every little fucked up, twisted part of me - But the game isn’t how many times I can kill you. I can kill you till the end of time and you’ll continue to exist. That isn’t how our little game is won. You said it yourself, earlier - it’s all a mind game, right?”

“Look, running your mouth isn’t going to save you here.” Kinbaku materialized another short sword. “How about you just stand still and let me run you through, and we’ll call it a day, hm?”

“Because in reality, you’re in my mind.” Minako ignored the blade it threatened her with, and continued forward with confident steps. “And you see, you’re not the only one in there. There’s Rei, too. She’s always there for me - protecting me, comforting me, helping me. Confirming my actions and the right choices I made, and consoling me when I make a wrong choice.”

 

Minako stopped right in front of Kinbaku. It grimaced, glued to the spot as if petrified. She looked it dead in the eyes.

 

“The others are there too. I’m not alone... I know full well that nothing in this world is perfect. _I’m_ not perfect; I’m not always going to make the right call or the best decision. I’ll always have to live with whatever comes from the actions I choose, but I also know that sometimes it’s the only action I can choose - One or millions; one or my team... _me_ or my team.”

Raising her hand, she put it right on Kinbaku’s face, who growled. She leaned forward and lowered her voice.

 

“And I’ll say... today? My team. Rest well in hell, bitch.”

 

When Minako pushed forward, Kinbaku screamed as gold light started to burst from its insides, until it was fully glowing; it exploded into fine dust, and dissipated completely, away from sight...

Away from mind.

 

Minako took a breath and sank down to the ground before laying down, arm over her face.

Her body ached from the brutal beatdown. She knows for sure she had a few broken ribs, and the gash on her leg from the sword had torn back open before healing all the way--

She heard heavy footsteps on the grass - Makoto.

 

Despite the pain she’s starting to feel, Minako managed to ask the most important question.

“Rei…?”

“She’ll be fine, in uhh… Ami said about two more hours. …And sent me out here to get you.” Makoto paused and glanced around. “Where is she-- uh, sorry... _it_?”

 

Minako visibly relaxed, confident in her answer. “Gone.”

 

“... Gone?”

“For good. Carry me inside, please? I don’t have any strength left.”

Minako sighed a little as Makoto lifted her up with no problems, cradling her. Oh, hey, she could see Ami and Rei from up here...

Makoto, nose already healed to just a bad bruise, turned and started heading back. Minako spoke quietly, her exhaustion apparent.

“Mako? ... Can I ask for a favor?”

“Uhh…sure. Go for it.”

“Can you make those dumpling things, with the chicken? Like a big batch of it?”

“... Chicken dumplings?”

Minako silently chuckled and cracked a tired smile. “Yeah. I’ll need it when I wake up. I don’t have any energy left in me. I don’t have anything life threatening, at least; I think…”

“Let Ami decide that one. Get some sleep though, ‘cause you know she’s gonna tell you that. Oh, and, I’m done giving blood out. I have to give some to Rei in a bit.” Makoto sulked at that, but her smile gave her away. “You’re an _armful_ , you know that?”

“ _Pfft_.” Minako blew at Makoto’s hairbangs, and then winced from her ribs protesting. Still, she grinned… but it quickly disappeared when she could see Rei up close.

 

Rei. Bloody bandages around her throat.

Oh, she’s breathing…She’s asleep. _Thank god_...

 

“... Can I lay next to Rei?”

“That’s fine. Here; careful, possible concussion...”

Ami had put a cushion for her head on the bed, next to Rei. Makoto very gently lowered her down.

 

“Minako.”

Ami’s eyes bore into her. Minako accepted her fate and embraced the scolding with all her heart. It’s good practice for the one Rei’s going to unleash at her later.

“Yeah?”

“I thought we agreed - no more theory testing.”

“I didn’t… what?” Minako blinked at Ami.

“I saw the chain - With the sharp tip. Do you know how far down your energy level fell from that?”

“Oh… s’an accident. Cool though, right?”

 

Ami sighed, but smiled a little. Definitely back to the old Minako they all know and love…

… Then, to _yours truly_ ’s chagrin, Ami brought out the usual after-fight syringe. “Go to sleep. I don’t want to hear your whining while I patch you up... Oh, wait, Rei left you a letter. Here.”

Minako took the paper in her hands with raised eyebrows.

 

‘ _Your turn to be leader again. I quit.’_

 

Hmm. Loving wouldn’t be the term Minako would apply to that; that is, until the words on the very bottom of the paper got her attention.

 

‘ _I love you. Don’t wake me up. You owe me several dinners and dates.’_

_‘Be a good significant otter and rest so I can find you when I’m awake.’_

 

Smiling, Minako closed her eyes, holding the note close, and welcomed her first real rest in a long time; one where she wasn’t dreading the possibility of hearing or seeing Kinbaku in her dreams.

No, she had solely dreamt of Rei... a few of which she’d have to reenact, later, when they’re both in better shape.

 


	5. Chapter 5

Minako yawned as she slowly climbed her way up the steps to the shrine. She had gotten off work early, but hadn’t bothered to change out of her uniform, instead parking down the street and walking with two shoe boxes under her arm.

The past month and a half had been awful.

Incredibly awful, all because of the retrograde spirit, Kinbaku. It had been relentless, severely messing with her mind. Not only did she doubt her team, but also everything around her and about her.

Even after it was gone, she would flinch at her own reflection. Whenever someone, anyone, came up behind her she would tense up and instinctively prepare to defend herself. It was…exhausting, at worst.

At the very least, it wasn’t there anymore when she closed her eyes.

Restful sleep was very welcome and appreciated; a small victory for Minako…for three whole days. Then she has to get back to work. She actually _cried_ when she realized that. Fortunately, to her consolation, Rei had treated her very well throughout that day.

Rei. Yes, Rei has the right to know... everything. Minako decided, today she’d seal the deal on the big victory; today, she would finally, _finally_ take that final step towards healing. Today, she’d tell Rei everything, and then she’d be able to move on.

Hopefully, anyway. The two boxes she has with her weren’t too heavy in her arms, but in her heart they weighed so much more.

  


Finally arriving on the last few steps at the very top, Minako was met with the sight of Rei knelt down, talking to some kids at the shrine. Rei had always been good with them.

Something about seeing that... it hurt Minako’s heart, just a little. Could they ever have kids themselves? They weren’t even engaged yet, after all this time…

Rei turned to her and gave her a smile and a wave, and Minako gave a weak one in return. She had a lot on her mind after everything; she hated to be alone, now that the memories stopped being too painful to even just remember.

Without anyone to ground her, she’d lose herself in rumination, and her thoughts would just run in useless circles. She’s infinitely grateful for Rei’s presence. She agreed to keep her company and was just there for her; she didn’t push or pry, and Minako appreciated that.

She’d done a lot of thinking under the tranquil peace. It was a long overdue visit to her past and it had all felt like weight, a heavy burden on her shoulders and her back. She decided that she wanted to finally cast it all aside.

She’s going to need help to do just that.

 

One of the kids ran up to her.

Minako hooked a lock of her hair behind her ear as she kneeled to see on his level, with the best smile she could muster. He was clearly excited to see her; they’re both regulars of the shrine, and his dream was to be a police officer when he got older.

“Hey. How goes it, kiddo?”

“Good! I passed all my classes! And, and Rei gave me a charm for it!” He was almost vibrating as he held the charm up for Minako to see. She smiled at it. _Oh Rei..._

“Well that was really nice of her, wasn’t it?” The irony wasn’t lost on Minako that it was one for good fortune and luck. It was Rei’s favorite. “Did you tell her thank you for it?”

“I did! And...! You promised me something too if I did really good!” What a kid, keeping to a promise Minako made months ago.

 

She hadn’t forgotten about it in the midst of everything. Reaching into her back pocket, she took out her wallet and held a photo out, and the kid about exploded.

 

“SAILOR V! And it’s autographed!”

“One of a kind. Make sure you don’t lose it, okay? It’s pretty rare to get anything of hers nowadays with the Sailor Senshi out there.”

Minako smiled as he ran off to show Rei and his friends what he had gotten. Rei gave her a concerned look, to which she shook her head. Shrine work was still to be done, and Minako needed a little more time.

  


She took her shoes off outside of Rei’s room and set them down before moving inside, setting the two boxes down on her desk, and digging into her dresser.

Minako had some of her clothes here, but… she opted for a pair of Rei’s pajama pants, one of her shirts, and a hoodie. Her favorite one; it was amazing she hadn’t walked off with it yet.

Sinking into the bed, she sighed and stared at the ceiling.

 

She needed to vent this all out, but only when she’s ready. Kinbaku had forced her to confront it head on, ready or not, in a way that’s too literal to her liking. It left her feeling raw about it. Sure, she’d managed to surmount the challenge in the end, but a better way had to exist out there…

Still, if there was one thing Kinbaku was good for, it was help her realize how unhealthy it had been to just bury her past like that. She had been determined to bring all of it to her grave, after all. It never would’ve come to light if it weren’t for the interference.

That matter had been put to rest now, anyway. No more Kinbaku in a billion years... but…

What about the others?

 _Oh, boy_ … well, at least, if they have another meeting about it, she won’t be walking out of it again. But… would she still play the leader role? Yes, eventually, but she’s going to have to work to get back to that point, won’t she? _Oh, trust, how fragile you are…_

She’s regained her trust in them, though. Not being pressured at every waking moment by a paranoia inducing spectre had _really_ helped with that.

 

Minako sighed and rolled to the side, closing her eyes. She’d had a long, late shift; she’d been running and driving about since 3 AM. Rei still had shrine work until nightfall...

One good nap. Before she spilled everything that she’d kept locked away to herself for many years, she could have a nap.

  


“... Mina?”

The word sounded distant to her ears, and she made some half-assed noise in return. Whatever part of her brain that made words wasn’t quite awake yet.

After a few moments and taking a deep breath in and out, she opened her eyes to see a concerned Rei on the edge of the bed. She’d just gotten out of the shower and her hair was wet. Shame, it would have been nice to share a hot shower with her...

“Are you okay?” Rei ran her fingers through Minako’s hair and she closed her eyes again.

“No. Not really.” It must have startled Rei; her honesty.

Rei’s fingers faltered and she could feel the concern radiate off of her. Minako leaned towards the touch.

“Give me a few to wake up?”

“I’ll go make some tea.”

“Thank you.”

Thankfully Rei understood her. She couldn’t keep pushing this off, though, and groaned as she sat up and looked out the window.

Pitch black. Then she looked at the clock. 9 PM; she’d slept for about 5 hours or so. Standing up, she grabbed the two boxes and sat back down on the bed, waiting on Rei.

 

It’s wasn’t long before she returned. She sat the tea on her desk before pulling out a tray to put on the bed, and moving the cups there. It was something they’d learned was easier for cozy moments. The nightstand was too hard for both to reach.

“Ready to talk?”

“Not really, but I need to.”

Minako picked up the first box and stared down at it. “So you know I was Sailor V and stuff… and, like, you liked me as her even before we met?”

Rei turned a little red in the face. “Yeah? What about it?”

“You know more about me, as her, than anyone else does.” She took the lid off to the box, inside of it were a stack of letters. “Everyone talks about how great she was… the hero. The perfect person. Crime fighter, both monsters and regular crime.”

“Mm... but, she’s you. I mean, no one is perfect - given your circumstances, you didn’t get a choice…”

“I know that. You never cease to remind me of that… thank you, Rei; but this,” Hesitating, Minako picked one of the letters up, “Is important. Here…”

She started to read it out loud.

 

_You’re the reason my son is gone forever - you’re a total disgrace to our country and city._

_I hate what you’ve done and the pain you’ve caused our family. He was to be a father to two little girls in a few months, and you murdered him._

_I hope you rot in eternal hell and that it’ll be one of those monsters who’ll slaughter you._

 

Rei was tense beside her.

“Mina…”

Rei took the box out of her lap and the letters, glancing through them. They were all like that; a lot of them were from the different family members of one of the people she’d killed.

Minako pulled her knees to her chest. Rei seemed to burn with anger and compassion.

“You can’t let this get to you, you didn’t--“

“Have a choice. … Still, that doesn’t make what I did any better, or okay. After so many… it was…” She shut her eyes and shuddered before opening them again, looking away. “Too much. I’ve never told anyone this part, not even you, and it’s…... Sorry.”

Maybe ten years ago, Rei would have been offended, but now she understood that Minako had her reasons.

“It’s okay.”

This was incredibly painful for her to live with, let alone worry about what the others would think of her because of it...

 

“We were trying to take an organization down and they were at some warehouses. I went in alone, scoping it out, and there was a grenade thrown. I… I had wanted to lay on it and just die. I had wondered if I’d survive it and suffer... I just sort of… stood there.”

Saying that had felt like lodestones falling out of her mouth, and off of her back. Rei took her hand. She took a deep breath before continuing.

“It went off. I was hurt pretty badly, but managed to drag myself out of the building before it collapsed... everyone had thought I’d died. I laid low and watched the news for days. When I went back to get my things before returning to Tokyo, there were a lot of letters, I think Katarina left them there. Some of them… happy, that I was gone.”

She gestured to the box Rei had.

 

“Oh, Mina…” Rei made a point to lace their fingers together. She needed contact. Both of them did.

“... Back then, the Silver Crystal wasn’t around yet; Usagi hasn’t even awakened as Sailor Moon, so it took a long while for me to heal up. I couldn’t go to the doctor ‘cause it would have been obvious, so I holed up in a hotel and patched myself up. I was in a lot of physical pain for quite a while.”

Minako went silent for a pause, glad that there wasn’t a single shred of pity in the way Rei looked at her. She inhaled to brace herself before picking the other box up with her free hand.

“Lastly, there’s this. You remember when Katarina showed up here, and she remembered me and figured it out? She gave me this box, but I…” Her hand started to shake. “I never opened it. I was too scared. What if it was more of them?”

Rei took the box from her, pulling her hand away. “So you wanted me to look? Are you sure that’s okay?”

Minako curled into herself and nodded. Rei tentatively put a hand on the lid.

“How do you know I won’t lie about it all?”

“Because you wouldn’t do that to me - not over this.” The words were true. Rei made a noise in response.

“Just so we’re clear, we’re burning that first box no matter what. You don’t need that…”

“I know. That’s why I brought it. I had to get rid of it - After... after everything with Kinbaku, I have to.”

“Yeah. And, before I dig into this, can I make something clear to you?”

Minako turned her head to look at her. Rei continued.

 

“You’ve become a police officer, rather than an idol, which was your dream. You made the choice to take a job to save lives and protect people, and you’ve been doing that since. You had one night, one time, where a gun was fired that wasn’t your fault. I’m not saying this is your way of trying to fix what you did in any way… but, you’re a hero to a lot of people, even now.”

 

It was... sweet, and something Minako honestly needed to hear. Some of the tension in her shoulders left her. “Thank you.”

“Mm.” Rei nodded before opening the box and pulling out a letter in an envelope and tearing it open.

Minako really wanted to look, but the fear was too real. Rei was _very_ quiet before shoving it at her. She jumped a little.

Hesitating, she took it in her hand. It was some child’s writing and she realized a problem with Rei looking at it all... English. Good job, Aino Minako. But, it was all crayon drawings anyways for the most part, and...

The kid had drawn themselves crying over Sailor V being gone. The bits written in English was how they missed her and looked up to her.

It was... _no_ …

Her tears threatened to spill out of her eyes.

Rei handed her a letter. “Mina, I think she gave this to you for a reason. I’m willing to bet they’re all like this, but she wrote that you were to specifically read this letter, above all else.”

The envelope was torn open already and Minako hesitated to take it in place of the drawing. She unfolded it.

 

_Dear Sailor V,_

_You really are going to be missed. You’re a hero to the people here in London. I know you probably have some people who don’t like you, but I think the number of people who do exceeds that. Still, I can kind of get why they might hate you, and maybe I should be one of them._

_My daughter was one of the monsters you killed. I remember seeing it happen on TV. She turned into a creature and started to attack people, and you showed up and took care of it. At first I was so angry, so upset of what you had done, but then I stopped to really think about it._

_Innocent lives were being endangered. My daughter had been innocent, too, but wound up being the one attacking. You had to do something to save the lives of the thousands of people in the area. You didn’t get a choice, as much as she didn’t._

_She was a big fan of you, you know. Collected the posters and cards and figures. I’d always thought it was a little bit ridiculous, but now I do the same whenever I find something of yours. You were her hero, and in a way, you saved her. I think she’d be happy to know that... and sad to hear that you are now gone from us forever._

_So, wherever you may now be, dead or alive somehow; thank you. I hope that you don’t have to live with too much regret over everything, and that perhaps this letter can bring some form of peace to you._

 

Within moments Minako was in tears, and Rei had to take the letter from her before she turned it into a tissue. Everything was…

Someone, a stranger, had said it was okay.

And the words...

 

_You didn’t get a choice as much as she didn’t._

 

Someone, a complete stranger who knew nothing about her personally, had understood the pain of not getting to choose. The one or all situation had made sense to someone else.

Minako choked through the tears. “Address?”

“What?”

“Is... is there an a-address on the envelope? I wanna write back…”

“Oh, uhm...” Rei fumbled for a bit, grimacing as she stared. “I think so? I can’t really tell what it says outside of London, England. So I guess so. But…” Rei took the box and sat it to the side, pulling Minako into her arms. “Later, okay? For now... just let it out.”

And she did. She cried hard into Rei’s shoulder, holding onto her for dear life.

For the first time in her life, in her thirty years of living... someone forgave her. Someone that wasn’t like her, wasn’t a senshi, understood.

A family member of someone she had murdered... and they understood.

  


After nearly twenty minutes, the sobs lowered into hiccups and she pulled away to use the sleeves of the hoodie she has on to wipe at her eyes. Rei noticed a bit of mascara getting on it, and then realized it’s her hoodie Minako’s wearing.

“Hey! I’ve got tissues, don’t use the hoodie!”

“S-Sorry, I just…” She hiccuped one more time. “... Can I stay at the shrine?”

“Why do you even ask anymore?” Rei’s tone was soft, without the harshness that often accompanied her sarcasm as she said something along those lines. She’s right, though; Minako’s been here virtually every day.

“I can’t stand having to sleep alone. It’s hard to fall asleep, and I get lost in thought - it’s terrible.”

“Mina…” Rei kissed the top of her head. “You’re always welcome at the shrine. My home is your home.”

Minako started to fidget as she pulled away from Rei to stand up, and walked over to her work clothes. “I... I’m glad to hear you say that, you know?”

“Why? I mean, how so?” Rei, perplexed by the reply she got, moved to the edge of the bed. Watching closely, she noted how Minako had stolen more of her clothing to wear. Honestly, the girl had her own clothes here...

“Well... I... uhm…”

 

She dug in the pants pocket.

This wasn’t how it was supposed to go. This wasn’t romantic, this was _stupid_. She’d just ugly cried all over Rei and made a total mess of herself. She had this whole dinner thing planned out at the shrine so it was still private but nice; something fancy...

Not plain ol’ Minako in PJs and a hoodie having just unleashed half her lifetime’s worth of suppressed emotions and tears.

“Hmm?” Rei watched her get closer, fidgeting.

“I just…” _Damn it_ it shouldn’t be this hard. “We’re getting older and, like... I know we have a lifespan that’s gonna last thousands of years, right?”

“Well, yeah. Crystal Tokyo, Silver Crystal.”

“So I just thought... hoped, that um, you’d want to spend it... together. With me. Like... forever?”

 

She held the box open, and Rei looked dumbfounded as fuck.

 

“I... you…”

“I-- I mean! If you don’t want to...” It would break her heart, of course. But she would understand it all the same.

The ring wasn’t something complicated; just a gold band with a thin red strip going through the middle - Venus and Mars. She didn’t want to get anything flashy because that wouldn’t suit Rei.

Something that was easy to wear without it catching, so no diamonds. The gold was high purity though. Minako had spent two years saving up to get it made.

“I…”

 

Rei reached up and pulled on the hoodie, yanking her down into a hard kiss, taking her breath away.

 

“Of course, you idiot! I just…” Rei’s sternness died turned into exasperation. “I thought you’d do something more... flashy...”

“Yeah… I had a dinner thing planned, actually. But after everything that happened... I didn’t want to wait any longer.” Minako shook a little as she took the ring out and put it on Rei’s hand. “I’d already almost lost you several times, the past month. I didn’t want to live with any more regrets.”

Rei pulled Minako onto her lap, kissing her into silence again. If she hadn’t just cried her heart out earlier she would be crying all over again... she would’ve whined when the kiss ended, but Rei cut her off with a wistful remark.

“Honestly? I was starting to wonder if you’d ever ask.”

All Minako could do was smile. “So, uh... remember how you said I was welcome at the shrine?” Rei nodded, eye brows raised in question. “My lease is up this week and... I was hoping you’d let me move in.”

Rei laughed a little. “Right, of course. Should have known there was another reason. Of course.” She laced their fingers together and Minako turned a little red at feeling the ring against her hand. _Wow_...

 

“Well, you’re on your own with moving, unless you manage to convince Makoto. Ami vehemently forbade anything strenuous until next checkup.”

“So... does that mean no really hot engagement sex tonight?”

“... Mina!”

“What? It’s a question!”

“No! I have to be up super early tomorrow for a festival event! _Honestly.._. Later, I promise. I know how you can be; given the _circumstances_ ,” Yep, it’s been… _a while_. “You’ll black me out. I just know it.”

Rei wasn’t wrong about that. Minako had every intent to bring her to the highest point she could... Okay, fair. And the festival wasn’t a lie either. She’d just plan it out... “Okay, you win.”

Minako moved the shoe boxes to the floor. They’d burn the bad one later.

“We should sleep, then. I’m still tired, despite the nap...”

“Oh, really? Could’ve fooled me...”

“Hey, be nice. I was up at 3 AM today for work.” She moved to lay down, pulling Rei with her, sliding into her arms this time.

For the first time in a long time, Minako felt no tension in her body as she laid down. Not just from the past month, but… from ever since she was Sailor V. She has a home, now. She has Rei.

 

For the first time in a _very_ long time, Aino Minako felt _free_ as she fell asleep.

  
  
  


A few days later, Rei checked the mail at the shrine, instantly scowling as she recognized the word ‘Senator’ on the envelope. Still, she ripped it open and read it.

Another dinner. Another publicity stunt to show off how great his relationship with his daughter was. Rei crushed the paper within her fist and it burst into flames immediately. She could worry about it later...

… But no. She saw it; there was a snake’s skull in the fire as it disappeared.

She knew in that moment, she was next.

 


	6. Bonus Chapter (Non-Canon)

“Well, playtime’s over, I’m afraid. I need to remove you completely so I can get your power. It’s been fun, fucking with you for the past month... seeing you jump at every corner…”

The glee in its smirk reached its eyes. “But... today, it ends. I’ll kill you, Haikou will come about, and she’ll finish your babe off. Made sure not to cut too deep, ya know?”

Minako braced herself as Kinbaku walked towards her. In her current state, even using a single Crescent Beam would wipe out the rest of her fighting energy…It was time for the real fight.

 

It cracked its knuckles and Minako noticed them, gleaming in its hands; a pair of knuckle dusters.

It’s beyond a beatdown at this point; it’s a long drawn execution.

Very well, then. If Minako’s going to die, she would die kicking and screaming.

 

She raised her fists, but the first blow came faster than she could react to it. Following it right after is another, and another; cheek, jaw, abdomen. She stumbled back, further and further with each blow, too stunned to put up much of a fight...

It effortlessly slapped away the few punches she managed to blindly throw out.

 _Completely outmatched_. That’s just the reality of it; it’s playing with its prey, even. These are just love taps. It could’ve done a lot more damage than a couple of bruised ribs… There it is, those ribs are broken now. It knocked the air out of her, and she bowed down in pain.

The next straight hook, landing square between her eyes, had her vision start to blur. She squinted...

 

Kinbaku was grinning triumphantly as it built up for a fully grounded uppercut.

 

Its fist slammed her jaw with a resounding _crack_. The taste of blood exploded in her mouth and she was thrown up and back by the force of it.

 

 

 

Minako inhaled sharply and let out a wheeze as she landed. Her transformation gave out, and she swore the table she landed on almost did, too.

Everything hurt so much. Physically. Mentally. Emotionally. When her vision unblurred she was met with the sight of Ami over Rei, still trying to keep her from bleeding out.

Why was it Rei who was the one that’s always hurt the most?

 

Minako’s eyes watered in frustration. No matter how many mistakes she made, Rei was the one who ended up either getting hurt, or listening to her rant and rave about this and that…

 

Makoto was leaning over her, saying something. Minako couldn’t make it out, her skull was still pounding from the bash straight between her eyes. Everything _hurt_ , and Minako felt so far beyond done. Was all this fighting really worth it?

A shadowy figure entered the doorway and she slowly pulled herself up to see Kinbaku standing there, smirking at her as she tried her damnedest to get up, to fight again. Makoto moved towards it, and Minako tried to choke out a warning.

Futile attempt. Makoto was met with a fist, and a dagger into her arm that was viciously twisted and yanked out before it kicked her to the side. Then, it approached Minako and slammed its foot down onto her chest, pinning her back onto the table with a gasp of pain.

Yeah, definitely broken ribs now. Ami now has to play medic for three people with a threat dead on their faces.

 

“As I was saying, playtime is over. This one is my victory, but don’t worry. It’s the last loss you’ll ever have to suffer! You don’t have to worry about all your fuck ups ever again… Oh!”

Kinbaku paused and smirked, looking at Ami. “Did you know, she _murdered_ people? Fucking great leader she was, huh? Hard to believe she kept that away from everyone but Reiko.”

Ami bristled and went to move, but Kinbaku was faster, shoving a blade straight towards her face and making her pull back. “Have a seat, Kyoufu.”

“Excuse me?”

“Oh, I beg your pardon - you didn’t know? You and Kyoufu? Same entity. You don’t _have_ to be in a separate body to kill. She’s in your brain. Those meds just kinda block her, but we’re gonna fix that one right up. Don't you worry, sweetheart.”

 

With a fast twirl, the short blade in Kinbaku’s hand went down and straight into Minako’s chest, into her heart.

 

She let out a sharp gasp of pain, scrambling uselessly with her arms to try and remove it. The pain was so much; too much. She couldn’t breathe. She could feel her air leaving, her body giving, her heart stopping; with tears in her eyes.

Aino Minako has failed. She’s lead the world to it’s very doom. One last royal fuck up, the greatest one of them all.

The last thing she saw was Kinbaku laughing and a burning glow from her left, from Rei-- no, from Haikou starting to manifest. Then, it was darkness.

 

The pain faded along with her consciousness, and everything disappeared.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thats it for retrograde: venus! next up... some makoami for a lil interlude, then it's retrograde: mars! stay tuned!


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